


Pain is Our Only Friend

by chat_rouge



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Lena Luthor Doesn't Know Kara Danvers is Supergirl, Slow Burn, SuperCorp, Torture, and then tortured for three years, as in what if Kara was kidnapped by cadmus at 16, this is the torture au, what else do i need to tag?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2020-06-28 14:56:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 23,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19814659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chat_rouge/pseuds/chat_rouge
Summary: At 16 Kara was kidnapped by Cadmus. After spending so much time being tortured the world takes on a different light for both Kara Danvers and Supergirl. As Kara she is a prize winning photographer and as Supergirl she is a hero that stands for hope. But Cadmus is out there and Lillian knows who she is, and Kara can't seem to stay away from Lena so something has to give.NOW WITH Addition too Chapter 3





	1. Prelude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As mentioned before this fic is base on "The Comfort of Lies" by wordsarehard. I really like that fic, but I also at the same time was expecting it to go somewhere else based on the description and that idea stuck with me. I have no beta, and I'm half asleep so there are probably mistakes, I'll go back later, probably.
> 
> FAIR WARNING this chapter does contain suicidal thoughts

She may lack her powers but after years of being trapped in this hellhole the kryptonite barely burned anymore. Maybe she was building immunity to kryptonite; maybe she was used to the pain. She was probably desensitized to the pain but Kara was an optimist, or at least she used to be.

If at first the kryptonite had entirely incapacitated her, now the same amount simply made her feel weak, powerless, and nauseous, not necessarily in that order.

It wasn’t even enough to stop her from working out.

Push-ups, sit ups, punches against the wall, jogging in place, anything to relieve the boredom of the empty six by six cell they kept her in. Lillian wouldn’t even give her a bed, but at least Lillian gave her this.

Well gave her was a stretch, when Kara first started to move her body and exercise, to feel something other than the torture they inflicted on her, they had electrocuted her. It only made her want it more, no longer was it just a way to make herself feel strong in a situation that proved how weak she was, it was also a way of fighting back when she had none.

Lillian ceded her this, “Why not?” she had asked, “If you want to weaken yourself for us, be my guest.”

It was meant to make Kara feel weak and powerless and prove she only had as much control over the situation as they gave her. They thought she would stop, jokes on them. After however long (a few years maybe?) she had been here she learned spite, so she continued.

She had lost everything twice, first her planet then the Danver’s. She made a promise to her parents to protect Kal and she will keep him safe even if it kills her (it’s killing her, painfully, slowly, why can’t it kill her already?). She made a promise to Alex to stay strong and so she worked out (she knows it isn’t what Alex meant, but then again she only spent three years with Alex).

So no matter how much torture they would inflict upon her, at least once a day, she would make sure to move. It drove Lillian mad, even if she didn’t show it.

It didn’t matter though, no matter how strong she became, the kryptonite was stronger. No amount of working out will allow her to fight back, no amount of working out will make her feel strong because it was only a matter of time before they cut her apart, electrocuted her, or drowned her as a reminder of how little power she held.

She was just so tired, so exhausted. Superman, Kal-el, wasn’t coming, no one was. She was ready for them to bring this to an end.

Cadmus has taken everything from her, it’s time for them to take her life too.

* * *

“Really what do you think you’ll accomplish by replacing my liver? Shouldn’t you go for the heart, or my stomach? Because that thing is iron”, Kara wiggled a little in the straps holding her to the table so she can address one of the people in surgical masks directly before continuing to ramble, “It’s not like you give me anything to drink here. In fact you should probably check my alcohol tolerance first. It’ll be a win for both of us, I finally get the drink I so desperately need and you learn something about my physiology, maybe you can get Superman drunk”

They’ve cut into her before, on this very lab table, but never have they removed an organ. They weren’t putting her to sleep through anesthesia, but she still had hope for a more permanent sleep after the surgery.

“Really, waste alcohol on you? We already know how well your body filters toxins.” Lillian stood over her, while she never performed procedures requiring precision, she made sure to always be there to watch. Like a dark-haired, shriveled witch might watch as children get stuffed in an oven.

Like in the stories, the grim ones, with the siblings, dee and dum, or something? She was the witch from there.

“Alcohol isn’t a toxin, at least the way I understand it, and I can certainly use a drink. In fact the both of us should sit down and have a drink. Maybe it’ll loosen you up, make you a decent human being for an hour. Loosen that stick up your butt, you never know”, maybe Kara was a masochist.

Lillian leaned over her and brushed some blonde hair off her sweating face. She was smiling like a mother would when explaining something very simple and sad to a child. Somehow it brought no comfort to Kara to see her smile.

“I’m more than decent; this is heroism what we are doing here. Monsters like you kryptonians wouldn’t understand. And besides,” Lillian’s smile dropped, she gave them the sign to start cutting into her and looked down at her as Kara’s eyes widened and lips tightened from the pain “alcohol impairs and destroys, it’s slowly destroying my family which makes it toxic. Therefore it is a toxin.”

Kara was trying her best not to cry out, she felt her flesh being pulled apart so they can get a better look inside her. She tried focusing on the coolness of the table, the cuffs digging into her skin, Lillian’s words.

“Did Lex PICk up a drinki _ng_ habit?” She managed to breathe out.

She won’t give them the satisfaction. It hurts, but she’s had worst.

“Lex? Of course not, he’s perfect,” Lillain waved her hand as though she was stupid for even suggesting such a thing, “It’s Lional. Although Lena seems to think he’s an example and got in trouble for drinking at school. What a stupid little girl, she can be better so much better. She’s is always making mistakes. Sometimes she does things just to infuriate me.”

“She sssounds great. I g _ue_ ss we’d get ALong,” there had to be a better comeback or something more clever, but honestly she was having a hard time focusing now, her vision swimming and all.

“Even with all her shortcomings, I doubt she would get along with a monster like you.” Lillian replied, or at least Kara thought that’s what she said.

The world was going dark and ever since felt like something was being pulled out of her she lost the ability to focus and think. Even the pain disappeared, she almost missed it, better than the nausea. What were they planning on removing? She can’t remember, all she knows it that she desperately wants it to be back. She’ll tell them that when she wakes up.

* * *

Burning, she was burning from the inside. Did someone inject flames into her?

“water… need.. extinguish…… burns”, Kara muttered

Suddenly it registered that her face was wet, cold wet, so not from tears. The burning was becoming more manageable. She opened her eyes. Based on the lights above her and the stain on the ceiling she was still on the operating table. Another way to check might be by wiggling, but that was tiring and might, probably, most likely, would cause her pain.

Also who knows, maybe they cut off her arms and legs, maybe she was just a head. Probably not, they would do that while she was awake.

“You fell asleep, we used a kryptonite cocaine formula to wake you up, with your interest in toxins and all.”

“Thank you, how kind of you, wouldn’t want to miss what new form of torture you’re inflicting now would be,” Kara turned to see Lillian sitting in a chair looking bored, “should I thank you now for giving me the experience of an overdose, or scream extra loud later?”

“We’ll make sure you scream extra loud tomorrow. Something seems to have come up and while I would love to continue playing with you some more, we’ll have to reopen that scar going down you’re middle tomorrow. I might even grant you you’re earlier wish of removing your heart.”

With that Lillian nodded and they started wheeling her away. The whole interaction seemed a little unusual considering Lillian never stops mid-torture, even if she has to leave, and usually they would leave her in whatever state they were done with her in her room.

Before she can really think on it she heard a soft pop, then her ears were ringing she was on the floor and world was going dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not to good at drama so I usually default to pain btw, I just don't get drama to much. Anywho this is meant as an intro. Also, I know the ending was a bit lazy, spoiler alert, that's the rescue team blowing stuff up. 
> 
> I doubt I'll get to much into it because I don't want the story to focus on that and I was honestly too tired to really continue a good rescue mission for this chapter. Next chapter will jump right into her life season 2, while this was pre-season 1.
> 
> Please comment, tell me what you thought, if I should keep going, I have the next chapter started but haven't given the story too much thought after chapter 3. Also constructive criticism on my writing is always appreciated my friends. Or just tell me how you felt about the chapter, all thoughts welcomed!


	2. My shield is my camera lens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So apparently I can't sit on anything, the updates are going to be weekly, but I sorta had some of the chapter ready and had a bad day today so I just decided to finish this instead of acting like an adult.
> 
> This is going to be a slowburn, but I did want to jump into the story, so half of this chapter is exposition.

‘Click’ the camera shutter has become such a comfort in her world ‘Click’

The lens created a barrier between her and world ‘Click’ and looking at these people these monsters she helped capture months ago, she needed it.

Photography started as a way to reconnect Kara with freedom and the Earth. As an alien who had spent the majority of her time on the planet locked up and tortured her therapist had explained that it might take time to reintegrate into human society and learn how to connect not just with people but her surroundings.

The camera was a tool to help document her new ‘journey’, to create a connection and lasting impression to the things that she sees around her, and also to study human life and interaction without arousing suspicion and interacting.

Needless to say she had a lot of photos of birds. When she first had reached earth the flying mammals had fascinated her an endless amount much to Alex’s annoyance.

Now Alex went out of her way to get her interested in the animals again.

Actually Alex went out of her way to get her interested in anything really. Coming home was hard, harder than anyone thought it would be. Eliza and Alex both doctors who studied extensively on PTSD and psychology understood the transition would be difficult, Clark was warned. They were all endlessly patient with Kara.

But it was still difficult, for everyone.

Once she was cleared medically, after her three week stay at the DEO medical ward, she was brought back to Midvale. That experiment lasted a few days before the nightmares of being taken from her home there and the expectations from the past became too much so they unanimously decided that she needed a fresh start.

After much arguing between Clark and Alex (She was taken from your hands Alex, your home. Not only was I a kid Clark it _wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t abandon her in the first place_ ), Alex got custody. Eliza took a temporary move to National City to stay close and help her regain her bearings.

Some days Kara tried to be helpful, tried cooking, making conversation watching TV.

Most days she either stayed curled in bed, away from the noise the smells, at most trying to organize dishes, cutlery, clothes, boxes, and maybe even her thoughts. On days she went to the DEO to exercise (the only thing that got her moving) she stayed in the park doing nothing. Being outside was still too much, but she didn’t like the apartment, the small enclosed space, it reminded her of her cell too much.

So they gave her lead-lined glasses and let her exercise, then sit in the park. When the therapist suggested she start documenting her renewed life.

She was embarrassed to realize she struggled to write, in both English and Kryptonian.

The right descriptions and words didn’t come, so instead they gave her a camera. It was a fancy thing with a huge lens per suggestion of James, Clark’s friend, on the anniversary of her two months at home.

At first she was scared of using it, she thought she would crush it with her newfound strength. So she just practiced holding it while sitting in the park. The after a week of that she slowly started practicing turning it on and off again.

Eventually she took a photo, there was a beautiful red bird that she wanted to know about and knew she wouldn’t be able to describe the color, the size, the shape of it’s beak even though she so desperately wanted to know what it was.

She took a shot even with her trepidation of breaking the camera. After that she couldn’t stop.

For the first year and a half three days a week when she went outside she took photos. Then four days a week were spent on researching the images and working them to perfection.

Eventually she started a blog. Just photos, mostly of animals, but also things she was amazed by in the city. Then she started writing small descriptions, fun facts she learned on the animal, the directions and history behind the place, the artistic endeavor she was trying to achieve. English on the Blog, Kryptonian for herself.

Eventually the description turned into a short story about the photo, no more than three hundred words, but enough.

At first she caught the attention of bird watchers and small organizations who were interested in her work.

Four years later she was a freelance international photographer, best known for her Expose’s on animal trafficking, human trafficking, and wars.

She was primarily printed in National Geographic, but had her war photos picked up by The Times, and The Guardian, and The Wall Street Journal.

One day she went to went to capture the Shoebill, next thing she knows she was capturing people illegally stealing their eggs, and as of further investigation illegally trapping them and other animals.

Even further investigation lead to a different group with ties to each other that trapped people.

Which eventually lead to a larger parent group in Afghanistan that was part of the human slave and sex trade that used the political chaos to their advantage.

Which was what lead Kara to take her Pulitzer winning photos of American soldiers in Afghanistan.

She didn’t kill anyone, the lens the camera, it created a shield between her and reality. It allowed her to fall into the rabbit hole of uncovering human atrocities until she was unable to breathe.

Until she felt the scalpel on her skin and the water in her lungs.

She thought being a superhero on the weekends would be enough. Flying home on the weekends to be checked by Alex and to save people from burning buildings, see the smiles when recovering pet’s from trees.

It wasn’t enough to offset the anger at seeing the women sold off in chains. It wasn’t enough to hold back the vomit when she saw the bodies of children as collateral in war.

It wasn’t enough to stop her from snapping that man’s neck.

No one will ever know. It was a war zone, and by some miracle of Rao he survived.

Nobody really asked her why she decided to come back to National City full time, all too relieved she came home.

Permanently home, working for CatCo, not a place where expose’ on war criminals are done. A safe and soft magazine where the lens will only need to protect her from judgmental stares.

At 23 she nearly killed a man, won a Pulitzer, and became Supergirl symbol of hope full time.

* * *

“You know you don’t have to do this,” Clark told her again for the third time as he checked her fridge.

“Kara she’s still a Luthor and we don’t want you to feel uncomfortable,” the tone Alex held was careful as she reached over to grab Kara’s hand.

She wasn’t haven’t any of this, she was sick of being treated like glass and turned away to change into something more appropriate for an interview than sweatpants.

“We’ve been keeping tabs on her, Lena is clean and unrelated to Cadmus,” she turned taking a deep breathe to look at Alex and Clark, “Lena isn’t Lillian and she might be in danger. It is my job as a hero to make sure that she is safe. I can handle myself” she breathed out and gave them a smile, “I am Supergirl.”

Clark and Alex looked at each and sighed. Alex leaned unto the counter and put her head into her hands then looked back up. Clark only shrugged.

“We just want you to be happy and healthy Kara.”

She knows, Rao, she knows. She knows they are trying to give her space and protect her. She knows that Alex and Clark don’t approve of her being a superhero. She knows they would all just rather wrap her up in bubble wrap and leave her in a safe house with Disney movies.

But ever since she was found, all the Luthor’s have had surveillance. Lena had her vices, but those were more related to drinking and maybe anger management.

That was just on paper, after spending years with Lillian Kara knew that Lena was never particularly interested in aliens beyond the technology they bring, nothing like Lex or Lillian. That’s why Lena never knew about her.

She was a sheep among wolves, Kara even had photos as proof.

But Clark and Alex know all that. They’re being over protective. As though she couldn’t chuck Lena into space with one hand if Lena so much as looked at her wrong.

She knows she can’t be angry with them which is why she was slowly breathing in, then out, unclenching her fists.

Compromises, she can do compromises.

“Which shirt should I wear the green or the blue one?”

“Which blue one, actually doesn’t matter, go with blue,” there was a pause, “don’t wear a sweater it’s too warm to for that.”

Clark chimed in

“Don’t let her tell you what to do, wear a sweater if you want.”

Then

“Ow”

She smiled, as though Alex can actually hurt Clark.

She went back to looking at the two shirts in front of her. It was also too warm for long sleeves but she needed to hide her scars. They didn’t bother her as much as they attracted attention, and seemed to bother everyone else.

Alex thought Kara couldn’t hear her sobbing in the bathroom the first month after she saw her scars. She thought Kara didn’t notice her eyes falling to her neck, glancing at the white line starting at her chin and continuing under her shirt. The way her hands clenched when her bare arms came into view.

She thought Kara didn’t notice, but Kara did.

Long sleeve shirts and sweatpants at all times didn’t make sense for the weather in National City really, but a perk of regaining her powers was that she never really felt too hot or cold now. It helped Alex and Eliza focus on something other than her scars, and would probably work better if she wore turtlenecks, but she couldn’t. She didn’t like things touching her neck. It was suffocating, and she had enough of suffocation in her life.

She buttoned the shirt up leaving the top button undone, if people noticed the scar they were careful not mention it.

She tucked her shirt into her pants and grabbed her camera.

“Ready to go?”

“Yup, see you later Alex,” Clark hooped off the stool and went for the door.

Alex carefully pulled her in for a hug and Kara gave her a quick squeeze. She may be overbearing but Kara did appreciate how much she cared.

“Be safe guys, send over any info you might get.”

As though an interview with both Superman and Supergirl watching could be dangerous for anyone involved.

Besides, Kara thought as she adjusted her camera, her lens will protect her.

Time to meet Lena Luthor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I said I wanted to jump into the story, btw, I hope no one thinks I have any real plans, because that would be tragic. This is meant to be Kara/Lena centric so I did want to move the story towards her a little faster.
> 
> I found it a little odd that they made Kara a reporter in the series, I get the parallel they were going for, but Kara's first language wasn't English, in fact she didn't learn English until 13, she was in the science guild, and unlike other sorts of authors and writers, journalists and reports need to be big on social cues and fast on references, which would be hard for Kara unlike Clark who was born and raised on this planet. Kara also isn't the investigative type and relies on brute force and tends to jump to conclusions, or at least sticks with her loyalties and biases. Which isn't actually a bad character trait, just not a good one for journalism. She's not even patient. 
> 
> One thing that has attracted her to Lena is Lena trying to make a name for herself outside of her family. By becoming a reporter she is putting herself into Clark's path, no matter how well she does, she has to do it twice as well in order to match up to him since he was there first and already created that path.
> 
> I understand that she has a hero worship for Clark which might make her want to go to a similar field, but she also has enough trepidation about being stuck in his shadow that she would probably want to do something different. In the show it was shown that she had artistic talents and interest in colors and the art, so I figured she should stick to the industry, but do photography, something more emotional and in the moment, like her. She has a talent in connecting to people and I found that what photographers do, they capture and connect.
> 
> I was going to make this chapter go into the meeting with Lena but I also felt that might be too much for one chapter.
> 
> Oh yeah I should probably mention something about how she almost killed a guy and the morality and emotions involved, but this note is already kinda long and it will be important later on in the story so....
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the chapter, I love getting comments no matter what they are, writing tips, reactions, emotions questions, send them all in. I'll probably update next Monday.


	3. Dichotomy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “There was a perfectly reasonable explanation why I wasn’t aboard the Venture yesterday,” Lena said as she walked into her office.
> 
> This was an ambush.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I re-uploaded this chapter with a second half, sorry if that inconveniences people. This chapter was annoying me in regard to length and the way it was written, and this second part was meant to start off the next chapter before I realized that didn't make sense.
> 
> I also updated the tags.
> 
> I removed the endnote because something went wrong with it and it copied the endnote from the last chapter so let's see if this fixes it.

“There was a perfectly reasonable explanation why I wasn’t aboard the Venture yesterday,” Lena said as she walked into her office.

This was an ambush.

Lena had expected questions, but she had hoped to at least be settled inside her office before dealing with the press.

“Well that’s why we’re here,” Clark replied

Here as in attacking her before she could take off her coat.

Classy.

In that case she will take her sweet time undressing and hanging her purse on the coat rack, intent on not seeing Clark for as long as she could.

Out of all reporters who decide to question her it had to be the one who was her brother’s best friend and confidante. The one who helped Lex sneak her snacks.

The one who helped Lex be placed in prison.

“There was an emergency regarding the planning for a ceremony I’m holding tomorrow,” she took a breathe, “I’m renaming my family’s company and had to cancel.”

“Ah Lucky,” was the only reply she got, and in a tone that conveyed just how lucky he thought she was.

She chuckles, fine. If that’s how he wants play it.

“Lucky was Superman saving the day,” Lena made sure she was facing him, looking him in the eyes as she said the words.

Clark only glanced down for a moment with a tense smile.

“Not something one expects a Luthor to say.”

Finally there it was a Luth…

“Supergirl was there too,” the words were soft but firm, clearly unintentionally jumbled out by the women.

For the first time since she realized she had to deal with Clark Kent, she noticed that he had a companion.

A fairly pretty blonde who was nervously glancing down and then at Lena and then glancing back down before adjusting her glasses again with one hand while fiddling with a camera using another.

She was obviously uncomfortable and didn’t mean to speak and couldn’t seem to look at Lena.

Which to be fair insulted Lena just a tad.

Lena was not amused, but she did give a little laugh as she went to grab her water.

She needed a stronger drink.

“And who are you exactly?”

Based on the camera a photographer, but if Clark thought he was getting a photo for this he had another thing coming for him.

“Oh, um, Ahh” Kara started stumbling as Lena poured herself a drink “um, I’m Kara Danvers, I’m not from the Daily Planet, I’m um with um Catco, sort of,” her breathing was increasing, and Clark glanced at her, she took a deep breathe, “I’m just tagging along with Clark.”

She finished with her eyes glued to the floor, breathing as though she ran up a flight of stairs.

Catco? Kara Danvers? The name Kara Danvers had a familiar ring. Maybe they had slept together?

She turned back to look at Kara and Kara looked back at the ground trying to control her breathing as Clark rested his hand on her shoulder.

It would explain why Kara seemed so ridiculously nervous, practically hyperventilating, but Lena didn’t sleep around enough to forget a face.

That and Kara was too pretty for Lena to forget her, and she was too nervous for them to have done the deed.

“That’s a publication that’s not known for its hard hitting journalism,” is what she went with.

Kara seemed to have calmed down, and Clark took a half step in forward almost as though he was shielding her.

Maybe she was just shy.

Maybe being Luthor can give people panic attacks now.

Lena opened a file and suddenly realized how much work she had. Whatever the problem was with the blonde, she didn’t have time to figure it out.

So she waved her hand in the let’s go motion.

“Can we just speed this interview along?” between the rebranding and the move she had enough stress and rather get this over with, “Just ask me what you want to ask Mr. Kent,” she went to sign off on her documents rather than look at him, “Did I have anything to do with the venture explosion?”

“Did you?”

She looked back at him.

“You wouldn’t be asking me if my name was Smith.”

“Ah but it’s not,” he looked in her in her eyes as he said it, “It’s Luthor.”

“Some steel under that Kansas Wheat,” she was impressed and for a moment let a sardonic smile sit on her face, that must be why Lex liked him, Luthor’s did like things with a bite, but she wasn’t really a Luthor. Her smile fell a little, “It wasn’t always. I was adopted when I was four and the person who made me feel most welcome in the family was Lex. He made me proud to be a Luthor,”

She turned in her chair to look at the photo on her wall, the black and white taken in Laos. A child dismantling an old Luthor Corp stamped missile using whilst also being protected by modern L-corp tech.

The photo was called Dichotomy.

“Then he went on his reign of terror in Metropolis. Declared war on Superman. Committed unspeakable crimes. she picked up the remote an pointed it at the TV near on the other side of the photo, “When Superman put Lex in Jail,” the TV played the new L-Corp slides, “I vowed to take back my family’s company, rename it L-corp,” she stopped to look at Kara, “Make it a force for good,” she glanced at Clark who stood in front of Kara before really looking at Kara again “I’m just a women trying to make a name for herself outside her family. Can you understand that?”

She was looking at Kara, Kara who had been standing tense and looking almost anywhere but her, suddenly relaxed and looked back.

Lena realized Kara had blue eyes behind those glasses. Eyes that looked at her as though they held the weight of the world and they have weighed Lena.

Eyes that said they understood far more than what Lena was asking.

“Yeah.”

She felt seen.

“I know why you’re here,” Lena stood up from her desk and went to her bookshelf and pulled out a flash drive, “Because a subsidiary of my company made a part that exploded on the venture. This drive contains all the information we have on the oscillator,” she handed it to Clark, “I hope it helps in your investigation.”

Clark took it and looked back at Kara who was staring at the ground again.

“Thank you,” he raised the flash drive

“Give me a chance, Mr. Kent. I’m here for a fresh start. Let me have one.”

It was a plea.

“Good day Ms. Luthor.” Clark nodded at her.

Her plea went unheard.

“Ggood day,” Stuttered Kara before rushing after him.

Lena watched them go. They didn’t believe her. Not that anyone ever did.

Just for a moment she thought Kara might. She honestly felt as though it was enough for a second.

Why did she get her hopes up, she sighed looking back at the photo. The women couldn’t even look at her.

Lena studied the bomb in the photo, until tomorrow this is what she stands for in the eyes of the world. Then maybe after the renaming ceremony people will see her through the lens of the armor.

She went back to her chair and pressed the intercom.

“Jess, have you reached out to the photographer of Dichotomy, I want to know if they might have any other photos that would be good for the rebranding,” this one was a gift from a board member who spotted it in a gallery.

“Not yet, I didn’t realize you wanted them for the ceremony,” she heard rustling of papers

She didn’t need them for tomorrow but she wanted them ready for future events, after her run in with Clark today she needed the good press.

“I think I want to speak to them myself,” she smiled she knew how to handle artists, “they are currently the only people presenting me in a good image and I rather thank them and negotiate personally. I don’t believe a photographer appreciates a large corporation looming over them.”

As she learned, a personal touch goes a long way, and she cannot mess this up.

“I’ll send Kara Danver’s contact information over immediately.”

Fuck

* * *

Laughter, there was laughter, how many people? Three people were laughing, two together over some joke maybe fifty feet away, someone a man probably much further was laughing on the phone.

Kara stood bent over rubbing her palms on her pants. Eyes closed.

What else? It smells fresh, the woody smell was coming of the tree she was standing near and there was the smell of fresh grass, but she was in a park surrounded by grass. Something else smells fresh, flowers? There was coolness to the freshness.

“Kara?”

Running water, if there was running water there must be a fountain nearby, which was adding to the fresh smell, maybe there were flowers planted around the fountain.

She exhaled. Her hands started rubbing more frantically.

“Kara!” came a little more urgently

How many ducks where there, this was a park there had to be ducks, if she just focused a little harder she should definitely be able to hear the ducks.

“KARA!” Clark’s voice rang through her mind and she felt something on her shoulder.

Suddenly her eyes were wide open and she was trying to throw Clark across the park before she realized what she was doing.

Luckily he was just as strong as she was and could fly.

So even when she let go of him in her moment of panic, he managed to twist himself into a landing that was passably human.

“I’m sorry,” Kara’s eyes went wide hands on her mouth, “Gosh, I didn’t mean to,” she fell to her knees the energy finally draining out of her, “I’m so sorry Clark.”

A good sport Clark flashed his dimples as he stretched his back.

“You just caught me by surprise,” he reassured carefully kneeling down to face Kara, “You seemed a little out of it and I wanted to make sure you were ok.”

Gently placing his hand on her shoulder he asked,

“Are you ok?”

For a second Kara just kneeled on the grass letting the noises of the park wash over her. Then she looked up at the smiling face of her baby cousin gently smiling at her. Touching her like she was made of glass and suddenly she felt so angry.

Deep breath in.

Deep breath out.

She smiled back.

“I’m ok,” she replied voice firm, “I just got overwhelmed by the idea of a Luthor, I just kept thinking this was the girl Lillian raised, you know, and then she said steel under that wheat, and mentioned Superman and I thought what if and…”

She stopped and realizing Clark’s grip had tightened and his smile was now amused.

“Anyway I didn’t see anything in her office, like I said she’s fine, she even gave us info to help out.”

Kara pushed herself up and Clark followed.

“I didn’t see anything either,” Clark acknowledged, Kara could hear the ‘but’ coming.

“But you can never trust a Luthor, nor be too careful around one.”

There it was.

The started walking in the general direction of the DEO. They had a flash drive that Lena _gave to them_ _in order to help_ _their investigation,_ because _Lena was innocent and a good person,_ which they should probably hand over to Winn.

Before she can make that point Clark’s cell went off.

“Hey, yeah we just finished talking, no we’re good, she’s fine, just a little bit of nerves otherwise it went well,” Clark answered with a wink at Kara, “We’ll be safe, I promise, Love you too, bye.”

The quick conversation made her smile.

Lois had no real reason to worry about them, they were practically invincible. When was the last time Superman sustained so much as a papercut?

Kara ran her fingers along her stomach, the shirt material was thick enough where she couldn’t feel the scar but it tingled beneath the shirt as she traced it.

Then again, maybe she did have a reason.

“By the way Kara,” Clark laughed, “you have holes in your pants.”

Kara looked down and saw skin where she had previously been rubbing her pants.

“Darn it,” she sighed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The helicopter goes down and Lena briefly meets supergirl, Kara talks to her during the rebranding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I started my job and I didn't know where I was going with this story. I've not abandoned it, but a lot has happened in my life between the beginning of this fanfic and now, and I kinda just never got to it. I've made this chapter a bit longer in apology, although I wish the quality was better.

This was not a good week.

Yesterday Clark Kent ambushed her in her office and the news tore her apart. Then it turns out she missed a chance to make a good impression with a valuable ally. Today she finds out that no one ordered the new L-Corp marketing materials for the rest of the company even though she was under the impression they had it ready weeks ago.

Now this.

This was exactly why she hates flying.

Actually that was a lie.

It had everything to do with the lack of control she had over the situation.

Although this was not helping.

If she can figure out was this was.

There were drones around her helicopter (at least she thought they were drones, it’s not fair to make such assumptions with her knowledge of aliens and at such a distance), and just when she thought they were going to be shot out of the sky Supergirl and Superman arrive.

Two for one special. Lena had to wonder if they knew she was the one in the helicopter, although she guessed, they probably wouldn’t let her pilot die.

Except she was being shot out of the sky regardless, frantically trying to hold on to whatever she can, and did she squeal? Maybe it was a good thing they were about to die.

Closing her eyes she braced for impact (she was brave, but not nearly brave enough to want to face her death like this).

It occurred to her that she was no longer being thrown around and so she opened her eyes and saw that they were being safely being lowered to the ground.

Turning to the side to ask what happened she noticed the pilot was out cold.

After pulling off her headset to get her bearings, she sees _her_.

_Supergirl was there too._

Gold hair, blue eyes, carefully checking the pilots pulse while reassuring her, “Your safe now,” completely in control of the situation, it was Supergirl.

Familiar in a way she couldn’t put her finger on.

Cat Grant did a true discredit to her not calling her Superwoman.

This was no girl.

So she opens her mouth to say thank you,

“What the hell was that,” she rasped out instead.

“Someone is trying to kill you,” Supergirl explained, she cocked her head to the side, “The police are on their way, I need to fly this man to the hospital. I can wait until they arrive though?”

Supergirl glanced at Rob, Lena looked at her shaking hands she was not going to be the reason why someone gets delayed medical attention. Imagine that on the news, Luthor’s selfish fear of being alone exacerbates man’s medical condition.

“I’ll be ok Supergirl, thank you for your help, make sure Rob gets the medical attention he needs.” Lena answered.

Supergirl hesitated, “Are you sure.”

“Yes,” Lena replied a little more firmly trying to give her a small smile, “I’m ok, besides you guys destroyed their drones I’m sure it’ll take them a few more minutes at least to regroup and you did say the police were close.”

Supergirl continued to frown but nodded before she pulled the man out of the helicopter and took off.

Lena took a moment, counted too ten, then on shaky legs left the helicopter.

Checking her phone she saw a few missed calls from Jess and called her back. She needed the distraction and blissfully Jess answered on the first ring.

Not so great, Jess sounded like a mess.

“Hey, yes I’m ok, I’ll explain what happened later but Supergirl saved me,” Jess was panicking on the line and Lena was only half listening, her heart rate was still sky high so she wasn’t really capable of reassuring someone else at the moment, “Supergirl brought Rob to the hospital, I need you to cancel the meeting, but we are going to continue with the renaming ceremony.”

That gave Jess a pause.

“Are you sure,” answered Jess carefully.

“Yes, in fact, I know I said I wanted to reach out to Kara Danvers, but in light of recent events can you call her and invite her to the ceremony?”, Lena leaned against the helicopter. Ms. Danvers couldn’t look her in the eyes last time, but she had done some research on the way over, there were a few other photos she had missed similar to Dichotomy with L-Corp products.

Maybe if she can invite Ms. Danvers to ceremony and talk to her about new initiatives she would be more open to the Lena.

You can’t take a photo like that and think everything is all bad about the subject.

There were footsteps echoing from the stairs, finally the cops were here, “Tell her to come talk to me to me before the ceremony starts, the police are here I have to go.”

Her heart rate started to slow down. She was going to be ok.

* * *

This proved it. Lena Luthor was the victim not the perpetrator. The bomb was underneath her seat, her helicopter was attacked, this proved that Lena was innocent.

Clark and Alex were just paranoid. They knew Lena was innocent; they kept track of all the Luthors after they found Kara.

Besides Lena was Lillian’s favorite thing to complain about.

So Lena had to be good by the transitive property.

So why was she so hesitant to go to the rebranding ceremony?

Well other than Lena putting her life unnecessarily at risk.

_She’s still a Luthor. Raised by Lillian._

Kara stood near the entrance to her park and fiddled with strap for her camera.

She was adopted, drove Lillian up the wall, was trying to be a good person, was trying to distance herself from the Luthor name.

“You can still call and say you changed your mind Kara, I’m here, Clark will be here, you don’t need to talk to her again, Clark told me what happened afterwards.” Alex urged over the comms.

Clark was a traitor.

“Too late I see her.”

Lena had her hair down, wore a sandy pea coat over her dress, and had heels that looked as though they could put a hole through a man.

The red bottoms the heels had weren’t making them any less intimidating.

Kara adjusted the high color of her jacket that suddenly felt as though it was choking her.

“Ms. Danvers, thank you so much for coming.” Lena said with a smile, she reached her arm out for a handshake and Kara stiffened for a second.

“I have to admit, I had a selfish reason for coming.” She told Lena carefully grasping her hand.

Lena purred, “Do tell.”

“I’m honestly worried about you, I heard about the attack, then that you’re continuing with s like an awful risk with your life in danger,” Kara admitted as they started walking through the park towards the venue.

Lena stiffened beside her.

“I won’t have a life if I can’t make it into something positive.” She looked at Kara and Kara fiddled with her camera, “I see you brought your camera anyway though?”

“I, yeah, I usually bring it with me,” she said, “Photojournalist’s habit I suppose,” she lied.

“I believe in what you’re doing,” she didn’t know why she needed to reassure Lena, but she did, she needed her to know, “I just don’t want you to put your safety at risk while you are doing it.”

“I want to be remembered for something more than Lex’s madness.” Lena left her with that and walked to the stage.

Kara cursed herself for not capturing the moment. The expression she had for a second betrayed how young she was, how tired she was, and something else. Something else that Kara couldn’t explore because she failed to have her camera ready.

Better not miss anymore moments. She took off the lens cover and prepared to take photos of Lena speaking.

“No sign of Corben.” Alex updated.

Lena apologized to the crowd.

Click

Lena was talking about community.

Click

Lena was smiling and talking about the future.

Click

Explosions go off behind Lena

Click Click Click

Time to be Supergirl, she packed her camera and transformed. Dropping off her stuff at a safe distance she went back to the scene and saw debris falling on James and some woman.

Jumping into the way she told them to go and looked around.

The Luthor Corp, or L-Corp now, building was falling and was obviously the priority.

After struggling with the building and repairing it alongside her _late_ cousin she flew to check in with Alex since Alex had mentioned Corben.

And Corben had grabbed Alex and was now holding a gun to her head.

No

She felt her temper rise, no one was touching her family. Not again, not in front of her.

“Let her go.” Her tone was calm and cold.

Corben took a step back uncertainly, “Your gonna let me out of here.”

He was scared of her, good. She took a step towards him.

“Lex Luthor hired you to kill his sister didn’t he?” she asked.

“Luthor still has resources and reach, even rotting in maximum security lockdown.” Corben moved back some more.

That answer only angered her further. If he was rotting then he wouldn’t have any reach or resources. If he was rotting away then he would’ve just faded into history in a few years.

“Now I’m leaving and there’s nothing you can do,” he started to raise his gun and before Kara decided what exactly she was going to do, gunshots went off and Corben collapsed.

Lena stood behind him holding the smoking gun looking heartbroken.

“Bullet went through and through, he needs a hospital, nice work Supergirl,” Alex said from the side.

But she was more concerned with Lena at the moment who was still holding the gun up.

“I had help,” she looked at Lena, then glanced back at Superman floating behind her.

Shifting her head towards Corben, Superman nodded and took him from Alex. Medical attention and prison was where he was going.

Bringing her attention back to Lena she noticed that the gun was facing downward but Lena was breathing hard and her heart rate was a mile a minute.

What should she do?

Alex gave her a look and Kara relaxed. Alex would handle it. She liked Lena but she wasn’t sure how comfortable Lena would be with Supergirl and she wasn’t sure if she could handle what Lena might need at the moment.

Besides there were probably others who needed help at the moment based on the noise.

* * *

It didn’t matter because she went to see Lena the next day with Clark anyway. He wanted to give her the article in person and apologize for the hasty judgment he made.

She thanked them, and told them it’s exactly the sort of press she needed and smugly declared, “That’ll teach Lex to mess with me, he’ll be the laughingstock of Cell Block X.”

It was good to see her look smug after yesterday’s heartbroken expression. After flying people to hospitals and helping emergency services move debris and put out fires she donned her camera again.

A few ambulances were still there and Lena was sitting in one as a police officer spoke to her. Kara thoughtlessly took a few photos content to see Lena was ok before moving on, but looking at the photos last night told a different story.

The photos of Lena showed a girl gripping the blanket wrapped around her as though it would protect her. Making herself smaller with her head hung as authorities loomed around her.

It was one of the photos that she would print and never show anyone.

So she was happy to see the woman standing before her today, smug, powerful, and playful.

Currently, smirking at Kara for an unknown reason.

“Ms. Danvers I didn’t see your photos in the article.”

“Oh, that’s um, because,” She fiddled with yellow envelope in her hands, Kara really hoped she wouldn’t overstep her bounds with this.

“I’m actually with CatCo and I wanted to retouch some older photos I had along with some of the ones from before the bomb went off. Although I honestly did sell a few photos too some other newspapers of the bomb going off as CatCo decided not to cover it, but for Clarks story it wasn’t really fitting and I wanted to make sure these looked good before I gave them to you,” She held out the envelope and looked down and continued rambling, “Because of your rebranding, I did believe in you and I’m sorry for what happened. I took these overseas and never ended up printing them, so if you tell me which ones you like I can print some full size copies, I mean not for free because this is my livelihood but…”

Realizing Lena’s heart rate was slightly elevated and so she stopped speaking and looked at Lena to check that everything was ok.

Lena looked stunned staring at the photos in her hands.

Kara started to panic, were they bad, they weren’t her favorites which is why she didn’t print them, or was she upset because she took photos of products that weren’t publically announced which was another reason why she didn’t print them or…

In panicking she looked at Clark for support who had turned away and seemed to be trying not to laugh.

That wasn’t especially reassuring.

So she went for it.

“Lena, I’m sorry did I overstep?” she carefully asked.

Lena’s head shot up.

“Overstep?” She stepped forward and reached for Kara and Kara froze, “This is perfect, I’ve, these are wonderful.”

Lena looked at her and her smile dropped.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to get up into your space.”

Dammit, she didn’t mean to upset her.

“No I’m sorry, I’m just a bit jumpy. I’m happy you like them,” She rushed to reassure her, “Let me know which ones you like, and if you want and we can discuss price, don’t worry they’re not that expensive.”

Lena who seemed to have recovered smirked at her, “Trust me, price isn’t a problem.”

“Well it was great to see you Lena, Kara let’s head out?” Clark interrupted reaching his hand out to Lena.

Lena froze for a second a gave him a large smile and shook his hand, “Of course I wouldn’t want to take up all your time, Mr. Kent it was great seeing you,” She turned to Kara and reached out more hesitantly, seeming caught on how uncomfortable contact makes her.

Kara bravely took her hand and gave her the most blinding smile she could, “I hope to hear from you soon.”

She followed Clark who was already holding the door and gave an awkward wave again before leaving behind him.

“Sorry to cut that short, I promised to call Perry and give him an update on how Lena took the story,” Clark apologized in the elevator as he pressed the G.

“It’s fine I should probably head back to CatCo, Cat’s been acting out of all sorts recently and I feel as though I should check in,” she waved him off.

“About Lena,” Clark started carefully.

Kara groaned.

“Not this again, you know she is good, she is innoc…” Clark raised his hand before she could start defending Lena.

“I’m aware, that’s not what I’m talking about. You know we’re just worried about you,” he told her.

Biting her tongue she let him go on, because she knows, and while it annoys her, she appreciates it.

“It’s just, even though she obviously feels differently and has taken things in a different direction, you need to remember, she was raised by Lex and Lillian, and while she has different thoughts and opinions there are some things she might have internalized without realizing it herself,” he started, “You’ve obviously decided to pursue a professional relationship with her,” and then he quickly added seeing Kara rise up, “I’m not stopping you.”

“I will be honest it’s not something I’m necessarily happy about. But you’re right, we can be overprotective and you’re a capable adult with super powers. I just wanted to warn you that there are things Lena might say or do that may seem anti-alien without her really realizing its anti-alien. I wanted you to keep this in mind. It doesn’t mean she’s Lex or Lillian, but she might need explaining to as why it’s wrong.”

The elevator doors opened but he didn’t get out.

“I wish I had tried explaining things to Lex instead of just fighting him on it,” he admitted with a sad smile, then abruptly changing to tone, “Alright I need to call Perry, you need to go to CatCo there’s an ally nearby.”

Holding out his hands for a hug she decided to go for it. Clark often offered hugs, but was never insulted if she backed out, but this time she decided he needed one and gave him an extra strength squeeze.

“Now shoo before Perry bites your head off,” she waves him and heads toward the ally way. Time to go to CatCo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few people may have noted I started a second fic. I will continue updating that fic too, I was able to write it because it's far easier to write that fic than this one, the chapters are much shorter and take less time. I needed to go back and rewatch supergirl scenes for this fic which I honestly didn't have in me to do. I only have a few hours a night if my night is free. I will continue updating this fic but it might not be regularly, it might be mid week, or weekend or in two week but I'm going to continue for this and will not make you wait another 56 days for a chapter.
> 
> A note on Lena and Kara. Lena is not super touchy feely, but the business world often has this weird I put my hand on your shoulder and lots of random touches that Lena might be accustomed too that would make Kara uncomfortable. On the other hand, going forward I'm considering making Kara still love cuddles from people she feels safe with because she missed having people touch her that meant her no harm, but not like the touch of strangers. Anyway sowwwwy guys.


	5. Investigative Photojournalism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If the Luthors were royalty, Lena was a princess with a broken crown in unfamiliar lands, but Cat Grant was Queen amongst the people. 
> 
> Which was why seeing her so lost recently was making Kara uncomfortable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Editing, wow what a concept, I actually feel a little proud over this chapter, although the plot isn't moving as fast as I want, but that's mostly because I haven't completely figured it out yet.

If the Luthors were royalty, Lena was a princess with a broken crown in unfamiliar lands, but Cat Grant was Queen amongst the people. 

Which was why seeing her so lost recently was making Kara uncomfortable.

When Cat hired her, Cat had been an immovable rock. Everyone else had to move around her and around her whims. It’s what attracted her to CatCo instead of nature publication that more suited her tastes.

But recently Cat has been floundering no longer the rock everyone else used as an anchor, almost as though she was looking for an anchor of her own.

Entering Cat’s office she noticed papers littered across her desk and frowned.

“Kara, have you considered my words?” she asked without looking up from her desk.

“Yes, I’ve decided to take some investigative pieces, but only if you can promise this will be on my own terms,” The statement was asserted with her back held straight and head held high. You can’t show any weakness to Ms. Grant.

Taking photos of animals was where she started, and taking photos of celebrities doing charity was cool, taking photos of the smiling elderly and children was nice. It was safe, it always brought a smile to her face.

It wasn’t enough.

That doesn’t mean she wants to stop the puff pieces. She can’t go back to the way she was living before either. 

Being Supergirl was helping. She was doing a lot as Supergirl, but Supergirl wasn’t always punching people and saving lives.

Supergirl was a symbol of hope and she too had “puff pieces” where she helped put up playgrounds and rescued animals. It was enjoyable and she had fun, but it wasn’t enough.

There was an itch she needed to scratch that puppies, old ladies, celebrities, and playgrounds couldn’t reach.

Sometimes she needed to know that she was doing something more.

_ Or maybe she just needed to do more, there was a difference. _

Kara would admit becoming a proper investigative photojournalist again scared her a little, but Cat was right, she needed to take the plunge.

“Of course, I’ll draw up the new contract.”

“I wouldn’t have decided to go back to it if you hadn’t told me to take the plunge,” Kara confessed, “I think I would have continued to hide behind the puppies and children. But I need you to know, I came here so I could hide behind the puppies and children when I need to, I can’t always be around the darkness.”

“I understand, you told me that’s why you came here, but balance is needed in all things. You spent time only with the darkness of the world, then only the fluffy and light, and now you shall have balance. Besides I give the best advice,” Cat suddenly looked thoughtful, “Take the plunge is advice we can all really use.”

Then she waved her pen at Kara looking back down at the papers she was working on.

“Anyway, go out there and do your job, I will keep the stipulation that you can work from home whenever you need to and only need to come into the office once a week, but I will add that you are required to come to the editorial meetings at least twice a week, although I expect to see you there more often.” Cat added before dismissing her.

Playing with the frayed edges of her sweaters she stood there to think about it for a moment.

Well, that was reasonable, that’s when stories were discussed, given, and updated. As long as she wasn’t required to stay and work in the office after the meeting and that she can call in at anytime that she wasn’t up to it.

So she adjusted her glasses and decided to start awkwardly shuffling out the door in case Ms. Grant decided to add anything.

“Yes of course, although there might be days when I’m not capable.”

Cat nodded and waved her hand. It was already in her contract so she wasn’t concerned about it.

* * *

The photos were beautiful. Lena wondered if it would be too much to ask for all of them to be printed on a larger scale. Dichotomy obviously had the greatest impact, the destructive Luthor Corp and the protective L-Corp. No wonder that one was originally sold in the gallery, but these weren’t any less with their proper context.

A little girl wearing a tattered L-Corp shirt with a smile a mile wide as she plays in the water, in the background there are other children playing some elderly doing washing by the shore.

While a cute and heartwarming shot on its own, the context brought tears to her eyes, it was the river they worked on cleaning up. It was small and barely considered a river, the system they were using was a prototype, and while it worked in this case it wasn’t ready to use on a mass scale and it frustrated her at the time.

But the photo, it changed those feelings of frustration with the technology to pride.  _ She _ had done that,  _ she _ had brought that smile to that child’s face and to the other children in the next photo.

So many of these projects were about cleaning up the messes her father and brother made, and they hadn’t brought more than a sense of accomplishment. Maybe a small sense of frustration that they had to happen

These photos, they changed that.

Never before had she had such a rush of emotions alongside her sense of accomplishment.

Never before had she felt so horrified by Luthor Corp.

She knew the military monstrosities and bombs that they supplied. That’s what these projects aimed to fix, she even had the specs, the blueprints and the death toll. But she had never seen nor thought about the true human day to day impact of living with live bombs and radiation that was captured.

This was supposed to be the easiest task of the day.

Jess had supplied her with a file on Kara Danvers. Nothing particularly intrusive, a background check was the most intrusive part, the file was primarily composed of Ms. Danver’s professional portfolio. Just something to help her understand the enigma that appeared before her the other day.

Interestingly enough Kara seemed to prefer to take photos of birds above all other things. In fact it almost looks as though she started as a semi-professional bird watcher.

Later more animals appeared in her portfolio, and then that’s when her investigative photojournalistic career seemed to start, following poachers and investigating threats to animals.

Then more serious issues, human and alien trafficking, cartels, wars, she flipped through photos. Even though many of them were dark and grotesque due to the nature of the subjects, the photos themselves were beautiful, always composed so well, always capturing not just the scene but the emotion behind it.

Each photo told a story.

The newest ones from CatCo were just as beautiful, they captured the lightness, the happiness, the feeling of everyday happiness.

Yet Lena couldn’t help but feel that Kara was wasted there. Her earlier photos all packed such a punch, forced you to see the unseen, feel the pain of the subjects, the numbness of the situation, they opened a world up for people who were unaware.

These CatCo photos were fluffy pictures that looked as though they belonged in a Kodak commercial. They perfectly, beautifully, professionally done, and seemed shallow. But that’s because that was all there was to the moment.

There were a few, for example the old women who reached the age of a hundred and twelve kicking back with her great-great-great grandchildren, that really told a story and gave you a dozen different feelings, but that was maybe five in a dozen prints as compared to the previous total of every single photo packing that emotional gut punch.

Maybe she should call Cat and complain. This had to be a misuse of resources. Looking at the photo she left on top of the manila file, the one of her smiling, looking excited at the podium.

It must have been seconds before the explosion, she had mostly faked her smiles (like she did most of the time, for most things), but she was excited for the rebranding, she was making a real change, and Kara managed to capture the exact moment where it shined through.

The other photo she had left of Lena standing at the podium, she wasn’t quite smiling in it, but she didn’t look icy, she looked in control and like the boss, as though she was speaking to a hundred people and not two dozen.

It was the way she wanted the media to see her, and she was glad Ms. Danvers gave her both.

She clicked the intercom on her desk.

“Jess, can you send me the breakdown of our budget, I want to know how much we can comfortably spend on Photos,” the good news was that she can spend as much as she wanted for the photos that she bought for personal reasons. She had plenty of money and so she might as well spend it.

“Of course Miss Luthor, anything else?” Jess answered.

After a second of thought she had decided she also wanted to impress Kara a little on her next visit.

“Send over the blueprints for the alien detection device, I want it functional as soon as possible.”

Running the company and becoming CEO was never really part of her plans and it was something that was thrust upon her rather than an achievement.

That’s not to say she hasn’t achieved quite a bit as CEO, but rather instead implies her strengths lies in the engineering and devices she had built.

If she wants to impress Kara it should be with a creation of her own.

Maybe if Kara saw what she was working on for the safety of the human race she would feel safer around Lena. The last time they saw each other she wasn’t hiding behind Clark’s back (as much as before at least, and she came to Lena without Clark before the renaming ceremony, which had to be a good sign), but she certainly kept her distance and couldn’t meet Lena’s eyes.

Yet she was still so kind. She came in and told her that she cared during the renaming ceremony, and at first she thought it might have been the safety of possible civilians that brought her out of her shell, but then she brought these photos to Lena.

So they probably didn’t have sex. Although that was an unrealistic option from the start, as though she would ever forget someone like Kara. Based on Kara’s work history they didn’t intercept in school or a professional setting.

Double checking, Kara had graduated from NCU with a BS in Math, which was interesting and something to think about later, but Lena was at MIT at the time.

In a more professional setting, Lena was embarrassed to admit she didn’t really go around galleries, it was honestly more of Lex’s thing. She was too busy trying to build and create, and while of course she had been to the Met and every other museum of note, she never sought out any independent exhibits to explore that would’ve featured Kara’s photos.

Which now, studying the folder, is a regret. Art was something she should’ve taken more of an interest in beyond design.

But this only leaves the option of the Luthor name. Is that the reason she’s so uncomfortable with Lena? As far as Lena can tell there’s nothing connecting Kara to the Luthor’s but Clark, but Clark Kent should be the one with a problem, and he obviously has his misconceptions due to Lex.

Is it the Luthor Corp tech she came across, maybe PTSD from a Luthor bomb exploding on her while she took photos?

None of her degrees were in psychology, but she didn’t think that was how PTSD worked.

What was it? She slammed her fist on the table. Spinning around in the chair she decided that she might need some help with this.

“Jess, please come help me figure out what photos we should print,” also please come help her understand the enigma called Kara Danvers.

It was so rare she was impressed by someone.

Maybe Jess can help her narrow it down, and also give her a suggestion on making Kara feel comfortable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the show she told Alex she could Calculus since she was four. In the show she has a degree in marketing. Nothing against marketing, I work in marketing, but why? Anyway before I go off on that tangent, for the sake of this story Kara didn’t actually go to college those documents were faked by Alex, upon getting her back, they knew she would need some sort of credentials, obviously Alex knew she was qualified for a BS in Math, she’s definitely qualified for a PhD… I figured that since she was discovered at 19, she just got her camera 2 months into her recovery, but it really took her around three years to get photography down as I explained earlier in chapter 2. It occurred to me later that’s pretty much the entirety of college. By doing so I’ve also created a plothole with the age difference between Kara and Alex if we assume that Alex was the one that rescued her, which I think I mentioned and we have assumed. 
> 
> I think the rest will be explained story wise, the only reason I felt the need to explain this here was because I noticed the damn plothole, but what can you do, I’m not going back and rewriting it so suspension of disbelief? Alex got a PhD in a year and was immediately recruited by the DEO????
> 
> Another tangent, in the previous chapter I mentioned Lena is afraid of flying because of the lack of control, she seemed pretty ok with flying as she could pilot an aircraft in the new season and was fine when she built the plane. I looked it up and a lot of people hate flying because of the situation being entirely out of their control and so I guess that’s why Lena doesn’t like it, also she is a bit of a perfectionist and perfectionists tend to be control freaks. 
> 
> Also she wears an NCU sweater at Sam’s apartment, but this was when she was borrowing a bunch of Sam’s stuff, and honestly I can’t imagine the Luthors allowing her to go anywhere other than an ivy for undergrad. It’s canon that she went to MIT for college, so I’m assuming it was graduate school, or maybe both graduate and undergrad.


	6. Change is happening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara has a talk with Cat and Corben reappears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finally home!!! I'll update again sometime next week, I'm dead tired, cheers.

Saving people with Clark was fun, _super fun_ , with twice as many heroes people smiled twice as brightly and Kara felt twice as good.

It was enough. It would be even better if Clark and J’onn could learn to get along but apparently that was asking for too much.

There was also the Kryptonian in a coma but they could only wait with him. She had tried screaming in his ears and shaking him awake when no one was looking, because come one, it’s been two weeks and physically he was fine and if he was from Krypton he must’ve been asleep for over fifty years and it was time to wake up.

Well she’s exhausted her options regarding him since no one was allowing her to touch the tech he was hooked up too (yes, she knew how to use it, she was part of the science guild on Krypton, do you know how to use it?) so there was nothing she can do but wait.

And her actual job. Her phone had alerted her that Ms. Grant wanted to see her, so here she was at CatCo without any new photos.

Running up the stairs at CatCo was always a little odd because she had to be careful to go slow enough that it was a human speed to be caught by the camera’s but fast enough that she wasn’t actually late.

The problem with living in the city was all the elevators, although usually they were avoidable or she was able to use them with someone she trusted to distract her. It took her a while but she was capable of taking elevator trips with Eliza, Alex, Clark, Winn, Lois, and to smaller extent even James if it was a short trip.

On especially good days if she felt brave, she was capable of using them herself.

It wasn’t her cell, and it wasn’t her pod. She didn’t have a camera in those places, she had nothing then. Not like now.

Sadly, today was not an especially good day, she nervously adjusted her sweater as she entered the floor.

Getting cryptic emails from your boss was not a good thing.

Maybe she should’ve taken Clark’s offer of coming with her? Although if she had to hear one more comment about Clark’s ass…

“Kara come in, I want you to meet your new boss Snapper Carr.” Ms. Grant was pointing at the man standing in balcony.

Snapper Carr, she knew him, or at least heard of him, did they meet? She honestly couldn’t remember.

“Mr. Carr it’s an honor I read your series on corruption in the White House, it was great, well I mean, you know, since it won a Pulitzer,” she went on but kept her hands behind her back.

“Cat your view is great.”

“I think that’s the last time I’ll be hearing that from you,” Cat snickered.

“Miss Danvers, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” he said sounding gruff and not as though it was a pleasure, “I’ve seen many of your photos and they’re phenomenal. Although your writing can use some work,” that sounded far more sincere, he went towards the door before stopping and looking back, “I’ve been briefed on your contract, I’ll expect to you see at the editorials meetings unless you call in beforehand or are taking photos.”

Confused, Kara stood there for a second trying to process the information.

“That went well I thought,” Kara managed slightly confused by the encounter. Then it occurred to her that Ms. Grant introduced him as her new boss. Snapping into attention she followed Ms. Grant who went to pour herself a drink, “I thought you were my boss and James was my supervisor?”

Ms. Grant sat down on her couch and fixed her with a look.

“It’s time for a change. I’m leaving Kara.”

“Gosh,” she fell onto the couch across from Ms. Grant.

“It’s time for me to find myself, I’m taking a sabbatical, exploring the world.”

“That’s, do you have to go, we need you here,” Kara whined

Ms. Grant gently smiled at her, “Yes, James is taking over my role and Snapper will be your new supervisor,” she leaned over and carefully went to sit next to Kara but not to touch her, “Things are changing, but look I’m assembling an investigative team, you get to be in control of this change, you’re a senior photographer now directly reporting to the head honcho of the investigative team. You’ll learn a lot from Snapper and you already know James, and you can still do fluff pieces and investigative photojournalism is something you’ve been doing your entire career. The only real change is that I’m leaving.”

“I know, I just don’t like change,” she admitted

“Besides, I hear you might have a big contract with Lena Luthor,” Ms. Grant raised an eyebrow.

Golly, how was she supposed to explain that.

* * *

“Everything’s changing,” she complained to Alex. She had a new boss, her job parameters changed, a new person entered into her life, “Clark told me he’s heading back to Metropolis soon, I mean I knew he would, but I was hoping he would stay for a few more days.”

Leaning on the counter Alex opened her third beer, “Well I’m not going anywhere, and anyway he comes to visit every few months and you can go visit him anytime,” she took a sip of the beer, “Make up something about a source in Metropolis, or just fly over for the weekend, it’ll literally take you minutes.”

Ooooh she had leftover fried rice, how did she not know that. Grabbing the container she pulled it out of the fridge and opened the top.

Nope, abort mission, that was no longer fried rice, it has evolved into a higher life form. It was now a fungus. Which was a fun guy, but sadly, not edible. Well... at least not according to Alex.

“Yeah I know, you also stole Winn,” she sighed as she threw away the rice container.

Another fun guy. Especially when she came over to check on him and noticed he hadn’t left his couch in three days playing COD in the dark. At that point he too was a fungi. 

She cracked herself up.

Alex went to rub her hair, “I didn’t steal him, he realized he was being underutilized, besides you get to see him,” she held up a Forrest Gump DVD, “Let’s watch a movie.”

Suddenly their phones went off.

“Why isn’t Corben in jail?”

“Just go, I’ll make sure Clark knows,” Alex was already on the phone and pushing her out the door.

It was supposed to be sister night.

Groaning she changed into her suit and pushed off into the sky. Someone in her ear was describing chaos happening on the bridge but she was only half listening scanning ahead to take in the exact situation before she landed.

Spotting Corben she noticed there was something terribly wrong with him, but saving civilians came first.

After flying the people to safety who hadn’t ran away quickly enough she went to face Corben.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in Jail?” She asked him.

Then a second too late she realized she felt slightly nauseous, and there was glowing green in his chest. Her eyes widened but her reflexes were too slow with the radioactive element in play.

Dammit. Crap. Darn.

Using both hands to pull herself up from the railings she broke through, but grabbed before flying into the bay, she stood up.

Clark stood where Corben was previously, “You ok?”

But before she can answer Corben comes at him with a flying punch and Clark flies back back a dozen feet. Corben turns to her, “Lillian sends her regards.”

In a burst of anger she grabs the nearest object and flings it at him.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Feeling more calm she walks over as he pushes the car off himself. She picks him up ignoring the nausea and pain. Making sure she has a firm grip around the wires and skin above the kryptonite in his chest, she suddenly remembers the lessons Jeremiah tried to instill in her about throwing a baseball to control her strength. 

_Lillian sends her regards._

Except this time she throws with all her strength.

_Lillian sends her regards._

Considering he doesn’t fly straight and much higher than she meant too she guesses those lessons probably didn’t really stick.

_Lillian sends her regards._

On the bright side, even weakened by the kryptonite heart he had she threw him pretty far, so maybe it’s for the best he flies more up rather than forward as he would probably did some damage to the next bridge otherwise, and she would’ve gotten yelled at for it. 

_Lillian sends her regards._

“Supergirl are you ok? Where’s Corben? We need to bring him in,” asked Alex over the comms as other Agents started filtering in and probably updating her with the situation.

_Lillian sends her regards._

“Umm, Corben is lost?” was accurate, she doubted he knew where he was and she most definitely didn’t know where he was.

“You lost him? He got away?” Alex asked a little more angrily, which wasn’t looking good for her, but Clark was walking up to her with his eyebrows raised, so maybe he will help.

“More like she threw him halfway across the bay and now we need to go look for him,” he said pulling the comm out of Kara’s ear.

She groaned.

It was sister night.

They were supposed to watch a movie, Pizza, cuddle up, and whine to each other. Pretend they were ordinary sisters with ordinary lives where absolutely nothing interesting was happening and everything was just the same old.

Of course Lillian would ruin sister night and her only chance to feel almost normal. It wasn’t enough to ruin 4 years of her life and permanently screw her up.

Why now? Why couldn't everything just stop for a few minutes and let her breathe?

_Lillian sends her regards._

She should’ve torn Corben in half instead, this way wouldn’t have to spend time looking for him and she would be able to pretend Lillian didn’t exist like she had been pretending.

_And be the monster Lillian always said you were._

She wanted to scream.


	7. Everybody is screaming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everybody is yelling at each other, a second Metallo appears and Kara gives Lena a speech that forces Lena to question her ideals.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a really long chapter, my bad, but I needed Kara to make a point and also get the action moving.

One good night a week was all she asked for.

“If you cared about Kara AT ALL” Clark was yelling at J’onn about the Kryptonite and all she could do was make herself smaller in the room.

They lost Corben, or Metallo, or whatever he was calling himself. After searching the bay all they did was find a note written on a suspicious box.

“Did you like my Gift? I call him Metallo, he was supposed to bring you back **Supergirl**.”

_You’ll never leave, even if you do we’ll drag you back and punish you twice as hard for the effort you caused us._

She heard an uptick in J’onn’s breathing and prepared for J’onn to start yelling back.

“Watch what you say,” J’onn growled grabbing Superman’s collar.

She closed her eyes.

“Or WHAT?” Superman yelled back.

There was an odd noise around the room and Kara opened her eyes to take in the situation. All of the computer screens had a talking mask on them with a robotic voice.

“People of National City. The Earth has been stolen from us….” a monologue began about the dangers of aliens and super’s alongside images of destruction caused by their battles and rogue aliens.

While the images and voice was new, the words were familiar. It finished with the words, “We are Cadmus.”

At least Lillian wasn’t subtle. 

“Cadmus declaring themselves to the world,” J’onn started, but Kara had already turned around and left.

She needed some space, some air, some whatever away from an underground bunker and find an open field preferably with sunlight and without people. Taking into account time zones, she decided to fly to a beach in Africa.

Just for a few hours.

Just to get away.

* * *

Apparently there was a second Metallo, or whatever the grotesque creation was called.

“You can’t just run away from your problems or when things are too much Kara,” Alex was upset with her, Winn was ignoring them as he worked on Kryptonite shields.

The moment she came back Metallo appeared, but she and Clark had to deal with the second one in Metropolis letting Corben get away again. The worst part, they were too late, the new Metallo already destroyed the park in Metropolis. 

“I just wanted some air, I wasn’t running away,” it wasn’t running away if she came back.

Talking to Clark has turned impossible as he feels as though he abandoned Metropolis for National City and is now raging about dealing with the new menace on his home turf.

“Going outside facility to look at the stars for an hour is getting some air,” Alex was trying to keep her voice down and stay calm, “Leaving to a different continent without telling anyone or having contact for eight hours is running away.”

The only good thing that came of it was that she brought her camera and managed to get a photo of Metallo before she landing with Superman.

“So what if I ran away, I came back and helped with the problem,” who cares if she was gone for a few hours.

“You need to tell me where you’re going and for how long you’re going to be gone. It’s my job to take care of you.”

Oh really now?

“I’m not a child and you’re not my handler. I don’t need to report to you every second of every day, I’m pretty sure I was freed from Cadmus years ago,” she stormed out of the room for a second time in less than 24 hours. It was either that or she felt like she was going to break something.

_Or someone._

Who did Alex think she was?

“Kara!” she heard Alex scream but she wasn’t listening.

_Aliens are monsters that need to be watched. Look at Superman, look at all the destruction that he creates without supervision, and he’s supposed to be a good one. Good thing you’re locked up._

She was an adult who could take care of herself. She didn’t need Alex to take care of her. She didn’t need supervision.

Besides she had a business lunch with Lena coming up anyway.

\-----

How does this day just keep getting worse and worse?

The meeting with Lena started out pretty well, she got Lena to call her Kara and Lena and turn brightened and said to call her Lena. They went to a restaurant near L-Corp, Lena said she wanted them to be on equal footing during the discussion, besides it’s hard to look at photos over such a large desk.

Kara loved how thoughtful that was, she loved the restaurant, she loved the way Lena smiled and found a quiet, open, place and asked if she was comfortable.

She didn’t love the alien detection device Lena pulled out to show.

As she explained with enthusiasm, you shared with me your work I wanted to share mine, Kara’s blood drained from her face.

She hated the alien detection device.

She managed to blurt out something about what America stands for, to buy herself some time. To calm down, to think through the situation, to not jump to conclusions. 

“This also has always been a country of humans,”

Kara tugged the sleeves to her sweater down to cover her hands and folded into herself.

She wanted to shake Lena and scream at her. She wanted to throw the device into the sun and the L-Corp building with it. She wanted to yell you’re just like Lillian and Lex after all.

_It doesn’t mean she’s like Lex or Lillian. She might just need an explanation._

Right, Clark, wow she wasn’t going to live this down. She jumped to conclusions and Clark was the one…

Explain how should she explain? She doesn’t do the talking, Alex does. Alex should come down here and explain. She doesn’t need Alex or Alex’s help. She could take care of herself.

Build an argument. The best arguments take the perspective of the audience into consideration, put it in their terms, from their perspective. Her mother had told her this as a child. Then work your way to your point. Make sure to acknowledge both sides, so they know you did your research and you have heard what the opponents had to say and had taken it into consideration. 

“Business has always been a Man’s world,” she shot back, “In Afghanistan I watched as a woman was torn apart for trying to learn, when I asked why, one of the replies I got was because ‘it is just not the way it is for woman to learn’,” she was shaking, she felt the wood splinter on her chair she needed to calm down and separate herself from the situation.

Being too emotionally invested can be a double edged sword, it shows passion in your words, but also makes you seem blinded by your ideals. 

In her mind she conjured an image of her mother walking in circles around her, providing small hand motions to help push her argument along.

“Agnodice pretended to be a man in order to be a doctor in Ancient Greece, when discovered she was going to be killed because she was a woman, and men were always doctors, she was only spared because her patients rose up and complained, because she was so much better so much more successful, and then they challenged the always and women became doctors too.”

That was ok she felt calmer she focused on the silverware in front of her and the way the light gleamed off it. She needed to bring it back to the point.

“One of the most dangerous phrases in the world is ‘We’ve always done it this way’, but you know that,” she was Lena Luthor she constantly challenged the world and the way things were done, “You’re not entitled to anyone’s identity, imagine if that scanner scanned for race or sexual orientation, imagine how immediately the racists and homophobes will grab onto so they can discriminate for things you can’t control. There are good people and bad people, good immigrants and bad immigrants, good aliens and bad aliens. They too are just immigrants and refugees, and it’s ok to not feel comfortable, but not all of them have somewhere to return too, not all of them are bad, some have great knowledge and power to offer, some just have diversity and themselves.”

She needed to get through this, she needed to explain to make sure she was clear, “Everyone needs to be held accountable for their actions, and that includes aliens. But you aren’t entitled to anyone’s identity. So I won’t try your device, maybe I’m an alien, maybe I’m human, but you don’t have the right to know.”

She needed to leave, she needed Lena to understand that she wasn’t angry. But she also needed to go.

“I’m sorry I need to go now. If there is a photo you really like just give me a call, I’ll, um, I’ll figure it out. I’m sorry,” her seat scraped against the floor and she practically flew too the door, there was an ally behind the restaurant where there was a dumpster, she just needed to get.

Once she was finally, finally floating in the air, above the city, it finally occurred to her, she was ok. Yeah, that conversation was hard, but it was mostly about finding the words to say, and thinking about that woman…

_She saw it happen and she didn’t stop it._

Like she explained to Lena, did she explain to Lena? Aliens need to follow the customs and culture of Earth even if they disagree. Like her father said, “If you sit with the Tsor’hal, you need to sit like the Tsor’hal.”

_Yet she nearly killed a man for less, so much less._

What she needed to do was find Alex and go celebrate, she didn’t freak out. She was getting better, she was doing better. 

She even built an argument and formed an explanation. She hasn’t done that since… since Krypton when she was practicing to present her ideas to the guild with her mother.

It wasn’t particularly elegant, but it was something and maybe she got her point across.

Then she remembered her earlier argument with Alex and her mood soured.

Photos, she had a job. She needed to go touch up some photos and present them too Snapper. She managed to get photos of Metallo from today and Superman from last night. 

Thinking about Lena, she felt bad. There was no real need for her to run away from the situation. She should’ve stayed and helped Lena sort through everything she threw at her.

On the other hand, that was a lot and Lena probably needs time to think.

She was so excited about the device. Kara hoped she didn’t permanently ruin their relationship. Lena wasn’t bad, maybe misguided, but not bad. She knew that.

The way she her eyes brightened as she explained the device, the way she said, “all of your photos are so beautiful and touching, and I just want to share something that I’ve worked on with you so you know I’m more than just a pencil pusher.”

But an alien detection device of all things?

* * *

Should she chase after Kara?

_Yes she should fucking chase after Kara!_

Dropping a hundred on the table she pushed out of her chair and went out the door hoping to catch Kara before she disappeared, but once she reached the door she didn’t even know which direction Kara went in.

That girl was fast.

Cursing under her breath she went inside and collected her things, keeping her head high as she power walked out.

To be honest, she didn’t think anyone was listening to their conversation, but they probably saw how Kara scrambled away and Luthor’s showed no weakness. Whatever they thought, she needed them to think that Lena came out on top.

Even though…

No matter what she does, she's as bad as Lex?

That she’s a pathetic failure who can’t tell good from bad?

That her mother was right, she’s just a screw up?

Nodding to Jess she walks into her office and drops her purse near the door. She realized the alien detection device is still in her hand.

_I won’t try your device, maybe I’m an alien, maybe I’m human, but you don’t have the right to know_

She threw it against the wall. It broke into halves. Four months was spent building and designing this device and thousands of dollars of investment.

For what?

She kicked her purse across the room

_One of the most dangerous phrases in the world is ‘We’ve always done it this way’, but you know that._

She fell to her knees and bit her fist.

This was meant to help people, to put her on the opposite end of Lex. Also to make millions for business.

Wasn’t that what she was supposed to be, a business woman first and foremost?

_Like Lional?_

She let out a sob.

_But you know that._

How did she screw this up? It was just supposed to be a casual meeting where she bought photos off an artist and maybe gained some support.

She was indirectly compared to monsters, she knew that Kara was too kind to say it, but she probably wanted to say this was like putting on the yellow star on aliens.

_You’re not entitled to my identity_

Was Kara an alien? Probably not. She certainly didn’t look like one, but neither did Supergirl. Kara could be alien, or a bleeding heart alien rights supporter making a statement. Either way she made it perfectly clear it wasn't her business.

Oh god, this could be considered an attack on Supergirl, it might give away her identity and put her family at risk if she has an alter ego.

She really hoped this didn’t reach Supergirl. 

She pulled her knees up to her chest. Was this a Lex thing to do? It would give racists, or alienists, or whatever they were called a way to directly target aliens.

But people, ordinary people need to protect themselves too, aliens were different from ordinary immigrants. This was immigrants with guns on steroids that rode tanks into the country if they were anything like Supergirl. 

Research she needs to do more research on the topic. 

She was calming down now.

They won’t scrap it, they won’t release it. She will figure out how to apply the situation once she gets the facts.

“Miss Luthor, are you ok?” Jess was knocking on her door.

“Yes, I’m sorry, I just dropped something,” she answered as calmly as she could, “can you push back my next meeting and have some research sent to me about government initiatives and aliens?”

She will research, make a plan, then create a remedy. That’s what she does.

All she wanted to do was impress Kara. How did it end up like this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The alien detection device plotline was never given an actual resolution and it bothers me, it was an interesting rift that could've turned into a fascinating debate and growth for both characters and instead they turn it into a journalistic teaching moment. But because this was such a sensitive issue and so closely tied to Kara's identity it didn't feel finished and so many fans assumed Lena scrapped the device when there was no indication she did. In fact it was implied that Kara didn't necessarily disapprove of it by the end of the episode. Then it's never brought up again.


	8. The Challenges of the Job

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena contemplates her device and the discoveries she made, Kara runs into a challenge at work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys did not disappoint in comments in the last chapter. I absolutely love all the comments I get, but on the last chapter they were especially cool, I love hearing your thoughts, your arguments, and your ideas!

Of course Luthor Corp was involved with Cadmus. This shouldn’t have come as a surprise, it really didn’t, the only surprise was how she was just finding out now (she was too scared to check how far Lex’s depravity sunk, too scared to truly investigate earlier).

Cadmus, hilarius, the slayer of monsters, the founder of Thebes, idly she wondered if Lex chose the name. He certainly was dramatic enough. But they had recently been on every television set across the nation and he was still behind bars.

Although he did manage to plan an assasination attempt… but to run an entire organization? From the highest security prison on earth? That was a bit of a stretch. It probably ran deeper than Lex, or Lex had some extremely loyal followers (he always was so charming, so kind, so sweet when he wanted to be, when he needed his way). 

How did she miss this in her original sweep of the company? It was extremely well hidden, she’ll give them that. She probably would have never found it if she hadn’t on a whim asked for all the file’s Lex and Luthor Corp held on aliens, just to be thorough, might as well see what the hate groups are saying if she’s doing research. Besides, her brother might have been blinded by anger but he was very great at collecting facts and information. 

Damn it all to hell. Does she need to call a Lawyer? While they haven’t done anything illegal beyond hacking the national emergency programming service, they were obviously a terrorist group. 

Maybe she should give Lex a visit and break his nose, then ask some questions. The files they managed to recover were mostly about weapons, which were the original files she saw upon inheriting the company. These new ones were more specific about alien anatomy and species, which was illuminating in some regards, and brought up some interesting scientific questions, but did not have much more information beyond biology and diversity which was hardly incriminating.

Unless you considered how they got the information, she had suspicions that it was probably unsavory and a gross violation of alien rights.

But no proof. 

She casually took a sip of the whisky she had been sipping all evening before flipping through the pages on her tablet. 

An interesting note was about shapeshifting aliens, and how many aliens didn’t have distinct fingerprints even if they had fingerprints. Did the police have a way of ID’ing aliens they caught? Did shapeshifters ruin the lives of people they took the shapes of? The alien detection device would be helpful in this case.

The alien detection device, the original problem that got her into this mess. She had a meeting with marketing, branding, lawyers, design and development tomorrow to figure out how rebrand and adjust the product so it wouldn’t make life more difficult for aliens, but at the same time they wouldn’t lose money they spent on its development. 

She understood what Kara was saying, but she was still a business woman, and while Kara was right she needed to take the implications of the device seriously, it didn’t mean she was scrapping it. Business was business, but she was going to be better and do business more responsibly.

The device won’t be available for public usage, Kara was right, people are not entitled to your identity. On the other hand as far as she can tell the police and government were woefully unprepared to deal with aliens. Sure there was the science division, but their database on aliens fell short of even L-Corps alien database and that’s not taking into consideration the new files from Cadmus.

They don’t have methods to ID aliens, they don’t have methods to diffuse situations with aliens, or even help them calm down without resorting to force. They also don’t have equipment to protect themselves from more aggressive aliens that have biological weapons that bullet proof vests won’t help with.

There were whispers of an organization called the DEO, and from what she could tell had done business early on with Luthor Corp, buying Kryptonite and other anti-alien weapons. While the organization was too secretive for her to have any real information, it was the main line of defense against aliens that people had, and it was most certainly against aliens. 

Which was worrying in its own right. If the police couldn’t handle aliens nicely and the government couldn’t than who could?

Things needed to be done systematically, it’s what prevents violence and chaos.

Maybe the new president would be helpful in that regard, with alien amnesty. She should donate to the campaign and encourage a government office to help naturalize and keep track of aliens. 

Hospitals also had no real idea what to do with aliens, medical students were not trained for alien biology and if the alien was more humanoid, it was treated as human until it was accidently killed or poisoned through the wrong treatment. 

This can be spun to L-Corps advantage, she had a great collective of information now, taken the wrong way, but can be used for good. It’ll be a great F U to Lex and put her firmly in the middle of the issue.

The only problem was the information gathered from Cadmus. Using it admits to knowing it exists, but she still has no idea what to do with that, or where to go with it. Who will she tell, the police? She already had a bad relationship with them, and she needs to do business with them.

The FBI is already investigating her, and she doesn’t trust them not to arrest her for this. Not to mention all the bad press this will give her. 

She swirled the alcohol in the glass as she stared at the screen of her tablet.

What should she do? It’s not like she has much anyway, all of this predates her by years.The dates on the latest documents were slightly less than a decade ago, back when Lex had just really starting running things. Probably right before he created a Cadmus Server. But at that point she was just finishing highschool and before Lex was showing psychopathic tendencies. 

This stuff was too old to really be important too police now. It would just prove that Lex started going crazy earlier than they thought. 

There wasn’t anything that was actually illegal on the files beyond what the feds had already saw and seized.

It would just give them an excuse to go through her servers.

No, she should investigate this, make sure Cadmus is no longer using any L-Corp property or resources, but otherwise, this is out of her hands.

She is already doing her best to pay for her brother’s mistakes, she doesn’t need to work off the sins of his groupies too. Lional’s and Lex’s mistakes are enough to atone for for the rest of her life. 

She’ll worry about this later, she needs to prepare for a meeting about the alien detection device, and the photos…

The photos weren’t urgent. Kara said to call her about it. She wasn’t angry.

_Or she knew that no one survives making enemies out of Luthors._

Hopefully she wasn’t angry with Lena, Lena hadn’t done anything wrong.

_Not yet, at least._

They weren’t urgent. The device on the other hand was going to be market ready in a few weeks so they needed to figure out the market for it beforehand and what customizations would be needed.

She also needs to bribe the guards to only feed Lex chicken nuggets and smiley fries. He’ll starve before touching those. 

Priorities.

* * *

This was… what? 

“You want me to get you photos of Supergirl?” so she was a little flustered. Not even Ms. Grant asked for that.

“Did I stutter? You brought me photos of Superman, which we will use. Superman being in town and Corben wreaking havoc is making headlines. But the point is CatCo is the cheerleader of the other Super,” Snapper wasn’t even looking at her, just continued making marks on whatever article he was looking at.

As though he hadn’t just asked the impossible.

It wasn’t like she just take a selfie, these need to be professionally done photos in a professional photoshoot. She can’t take a photo and pose for it at the same time.

“Shouldn’t James take the photos?” she needed to pawn off the photos to someone else, anyone else, “I mean he’s the resident Super photographer, he even got the first official photo of Supergirl.”

Snapper looked up to fix her with an unamused look. In other words, he just looked at her. Would it kill the guy to smile?

“Olsen is the acting CEO, Jameson doesn’t seem to know the difference between auto and manual on his camera, and you are one of the best photographers in the world,” he lowered his glasses and rubbed his eyes, “God forbid we insult Supergirl by sending someone who doesn't know how to take a proper photo,” she was about to argue that she doubted Supergirl would care, “Cat would come out from the rock she’s under just to scalp us for presenting her golden girl wrong.”

Which was… fair actually. She had no other excuses, this was her job, she couldn’t claim it was against her contract.

Snapper rubbed his eyes and continued, “If you need to get into contact with her ask Olsen, he always seems to find them,” then looked back down on his papers and Kara took that as her cue to go.

Ok, this was peachy. Maybe she could ask James to take the photos and in return she would take some for him elsewhere? 

No, their styles were too different. Besides she had her integrity, she had to take those photos. She just needed to figure out how. 

It was all about the set up… her phone was vibrating. She checked her messages, Alex… Alex was in danger. 

In gust of wind she disappeared, flying to the warehouse coordinates Winn sent her.

There, that was the building, she saw Lillian in her car leaving, but, but, Alex.

Using a bit more speed she burst through the roof between Alex and a man. A gun went off and she caught the bullet punching the man before turning to check in with Alex.

There was a bruise forming under her chin and above her eye.

This was her fault.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I should’ve been here, I,” she was choking on her words, Alex raised a hand to her cheek, “You’re the only reason I’ve ever felt at home on this planet… and she was..”

Kara pulled Alex in for a hug.

“I’m just used to protecting you,” Alex said into her shoulder before pushing her off a little, “I’m sorry for being overbearing and making you feel as though you aren’t your own person. You’re right, I don’t give you enough credit, you’re so strong, and I’m always so scared, so worried that something is going to happen again that I treat you like a little kid. You aren’t. Even if you act like one and eat like one.”

She pushed Alex away holding back a smile, before sticking her tongue out and putting her hand around her shoulder this was good, this was better, “You’ll always be my older sister, even if you are a pain in the butt.”

The Danvers sisters never divided, no matter the distance, no matter the fight.

Wait, “I know what to do about Metallo, both of them.”

Alex turned to look at her, “What?”

But if Winn had the tech ready, then they could use Cadmus’s assumptions against them.

Later John Corben will be laying at her feet, his synthetic kryptonite heart bleeding because of the pole Alex stuck through it.

Later she will stand over him and look him in the eyes, and know it’s really Lillian behind the gaze watching her.

Later she will let Lillian see a little piece of monster Lillian turned her into as she smiles into that camera and tells her, “I will find you, and make you suffer twice as much for the trouble you caused me.”

Later she regrets not being able to see Lillian shiver from the ice in her cold blue eyes that smiled at Corben’s body. He wasn’t dead, but he certainly looked it, and it brought her a bit of a thrill all the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sick and I hate it. Why am I always sick? 
> 
> I actually like Snapper, not as a human but as a character, he’s not necessarily in the wrong a lot of the time. He can stand to be a better human being behavior wise but so could most people, his advice and what he says is for the most part is solid, and he has admitted his mistakes on occasion. While he isn't warm and fuzzy he provides guidance and Cat did throw him in an uncomfortable situation with Kara, and while he could of handled it better it was good personal growth for Kara that was realistic. He's just a realistic character who is both in the wrong sometimes, and sometimes in the right and not a perfect mentor but good to learn from. 
> 
> Also I always found it interesting how pretty much everything is neutral object, it's only depends on perception and perception dictates how we use it. And perception is just another way of saying branding. Anyway everything means nothing and nothing means everything and the nyquil has definitely gotten to my head, toodles!


	9. Photos don't lie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara struggles with photos of Supergirl, and Lena and Kara are both relieved to see each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said I wouldn't put you off for a month again... In my defense first we had to temporarily evacuate the house, nothing bad, renovations for an outdated system that finally fell apart, then things went to hell at work and I just got sidetracked. Also the new season is giving me anxiety and I can't actually watch the episodes because it's on cable which is a blessing and a curse.

The Kryptonian had woken up, Snapper kept snapping at her about writing, and the tripod was being stupid. 

Three adjustments later and the tripod was holding the correct angle again.

Carefully she backed away so she wouldn’t disturb the set up, and as she stepped back she accidentally stepped on the edge of the sheet.

The white sheet that she had specifically bleached and washed for this occasion she so she can reflect the light, slipped from the rafters into a pile of old construction equipment.

At least it used to be white sheet.

Now she was sure it would be an off white color with different tones of black smudges from dirt to grease. 

She yelled  _ darn it  _ for the fifth time and Winn who was currently monitoring her comms finally asked behind a, “Why not simply tell Snapper that Supergirl said no. Or that she only wanted Jimmy to take her photos or wasn’t comfortable with an actual shoot.

Because-

Well, she hadn’t thought of that?

She sat down on the concrete and did a quick scan over the city. The building she chose for the shoot was an abandoned construction project. 30 floors up gave her privacy as no one was going to bother climbing that high, and also gave her a chance to monitor for any rogue aliens running around. 

There wasn’t much she could do, she had already flew around the city twice and didn’t see him then, it was doubtful he would be in plain sight now. 

Just in case she was on call.

“I can also get J’onn to pose as Supergirl, but I didn’t,” she replied instead.

“Only because J’onn would have the same exact problems of posing naturally as you are,” she heard the keyboard from his end, “Also, maybe, you’re also a little scared of J’onn, hmmmm.”

All of her cameras had been set up for hours, the one she borrowed from James and the two she owned, in different heights for different shots. The lights were set up and the sun was still in a good position. But every time she posed she looked awkward and uncomfortable instead of heroic. 

The camera positions weren’t really the problem, but is was far more easy to fix then an awkward smile and tense shoulders.

She sighed for the hundredth time today as her phone pinged for the tenth. Since she was wearing her comms it couldn’t be DEO business, and a quick glance at it earlier showed that it was about some message left for her at the office.

Figuring since she was officially taking photos of Supergirl, Snapper, or whoever was trying to reach her can wait, but the texts were getting more annoying as the day progressed so she decided to check the details and handle it now.

It wasn’t as though she was getting much done.

Huh. 

“The DEO doesn’t actually need me right now, right?” she asked staring at her phone.

“Nope,” Winn said popping the p. Looking around she assessed the set up, it was thirty stories, even if someone managed to get up here, the only way to get back down was by flying or climbing. She really didn’t want to move everything again.

Though kids and trespassers climbed up on occasion, not usually this high, which was why she chose the spot, but…

It’ll be fine, no one is stupid enough to climb thirty stories from the outside, and she bent a random bar she found around the handle.

“It’s nice to have you looking out but we are more likely going to find him through his own screw ups, his pretty new to Earth, also I’m pretty bored waiting for something to pop up.”

Perfect, then no guilt, “Thanks Winn gotta go.”

She turned off the comms right as he said “Wai-”, grabbed her favorite camera and flew out. 

Apparently she didn’t scare Lena Luthor off after all. 

\------

“Sorry to drop in unannounced, I just got the message you wanted to see me,” she started trailing off upon noticing the white flowers on the table, “Those flowers are beautiful.”

Lena was sitting on her coach, with a Catco magazine in her hands, she smiled up at Kara, “They’re are called plumerias, they’re pretty rare.”

“They remind me of my mother,” Kara furrowed her brow and cocked her head, getting slightly lost in thought.

Lena held up the magazine, “Was she also a photographer?”

Her tone was light and coy. 

This was about the photos she did for the alien detection device article. Kara didn’t want to be placed on that article, but there was a rookie reporter sent to cover it and Snapper sent her with hopes that she could provide some guidance, especially since she was “familiar” Lena. 

She still felt uncomfortable with the device, but she understood how it could help, how the hospitals might need it, police stations too. She wasn’t necessarily happy about it, but she understood,  if you sit with the Tsor’hal, you need to sit like the Tsor’hal, or as the humans say she recently discovered, when in Rome do as the Romans do. 

She understood that in order for aliens to be treated equally, technology needed to be able to recognize their differences. 

Otherwise someone will always be on unequal footing in one way or another. 

“No,” Kara replied a bit too harsh, backtracking she tried to pull her thoughts together, “She was, um, I guess sort of a lawyer,” she said hating how unsure she sounded, maybe a judge would’ve been more accurate by American terms? People normally knew what their parents did, she guessed.

Well if Lena asked she could just explain she was younger when she was adopted.

“Maybe your father was an artist? You have a gift, those photos for the article were stunning. I was honestly worried that you were being wasted away at CatCo, but I was obviously wrong,” Lena put the magazine down and started wringing her hands, “The way you spoke about the alien detection device, and it’s possible effects, as well as your bleeding heart pro-alien views, I’m surprised you chose a photo that showed it so positively.”

The photo she chose was one that she captured in the hospital, for a multitude of reasons. It was taken from behind a patient, a teenage Roltikkon, only the back of their head, their shoulders, and their right hand was visible. Their hand was on the alien detection device the doctor was holding, the doctor’s eyes were wide as they stared at a screen in the back showing information about the Roltikkon’s species, with blurry nurses in the background being directed by the doctor’s other hand.

On the left you can see the parents of the teen, standing at the edge of the bed, holding each other, staring at each other in obvious relief. The Mother’s knees were bent as though they were buckling.

She thought it would be a more positive image for someone who just glanced at the article instead of reading it, rather than the photos she took at the police station. Also it portrayed the device in a more pro-alien sense, maybe disincline the anti-alien people from taking interest.

Kara also spent some time accenting the parents, the device, and doctor in the photo, slightly unfocusing everything else, and adding a bit more color to draw the eyes. It was subtle though.

“To be honest my other choices were from the police station, and while police officers were happy to pose and give permission, the aliens they caught were not. And I didn't want to use anything without permission here,” she saw the smile on Lena’s face become tighter and less wide, “I still don’t necessarily agree with the device, but you obviously thought about what I said and made changes, and I appreciate that, and to a degree you’re right this device can do great things.”

Lena relaxed just a smidge and Kara sat down on the couch beside her.

She needed Lena to know that she didn’t just pick those photos because of corporate regulations and what her boss would want, but because Lena was doing good, “Photos don’t really lie either, the situation was as you see it, that has very little to do with me, and more to do with you.”

She definitely looked happy again, smiling wide, leaning back against the coach, with a tad of bashfulness.

“I’m glad you’ve come around to see it from my perspective as well,” Lena paused, she put her hand on top of a yellow envelope, “I didn’t get a chance last time to go over photos with you, but I was hoping that you are still willing to sell L-Corp some original prints?”

Kara jerked a little at that but moved closer, it was unusual for her to directly sell any prints to clients. Normally things went through a third party handler that she worked with who also set up her photos in galleries. They took a cut, but it took the anxiety of actually having to sell and deal with people away from her. 

It also gave her more time for the rest of her life, clients didn’t take too well to being canceled on for emergencies, or being told they can’t meet due to her day job. 

But she would make time for Lena.

Because Lena was a wealthy and important relationship that she should make. Definitely, not like the rest of her clients that were very wealthy.

But Lena-

It didn’t matter, Lena, or L-Corp, she reminded herself wanted photos and there was no reason for her not to deliver or give her the number of Jose. She was already here anyway.

“Right of course, do you know what you want?” she asked reaching for the envelope.

“Yes, although we should probably talk price, beyond that the sizes of the prints requested is written on the backs of the photos,” Lena rushed through an explanation of what could have easily been emailed, “I also wanted,” Lena sounded a bit unsure here, she restarted, “I was hoping that to also buy a few personal prints, if you don’t mind, of course. My apartment here is still empty and could use more personal touches,” she was only half lying, it was designed by a designer and everything was exactly as it should be, but she didn’t pick out the decor, only gave suggestions and explained what she liked.

Kara was a little surprised, but she didn’t see why not. A lot of her prints were sold for more personal reasons, even the ones that had dark tones to them.

Maybe she was also a little excited that Lena enjoyed her work for more personal reasons. She was always flattered when someone liked her photos.

“Of course, I have a site with my older stuff on it, although I haven’t updated it yet, so I can show you those separately,” she thought about anything else a possible buyer might need to be informed about, “Also nothing that was in CatCo will be sold, or for Catco, goes against my contract, and you might want to give me an idea of price.”

Lena looked a bit flustered, “Price isn’t a problem, and of course, I’ll only buy what you’re selling, I’m not an evil Luthor who will force you to sell something you don’t want to.”

This wasn’t, that, she was wringing her hands, “That’s not what I meant, it’s just in case you had your eye on something that was in an old issue, that’s all.”

Lena relaxed, “oh.”

Suddenly her DEO ringtone was going off, “I’m sorry, I need to get this,” Lena waved her off as Kara went near the door.

“ _ We’ve found his location and Alex went in after him,”  _ Winn said.

“Ok, I’ll be right there, tell her to wait for me.”

“ _ Too late _ .” Click.

She turned back to Lena, “I’m sorry, I have to go, I’ll look over the photos you sent me and if you want we can set up and appointment to look through photos,” most people just checked out her website, but most computers were configured differently by color and she refused to let Lena choose something inaccurately presented.

“Of course, please, I didn’t mean to hold you up, here’s my card, it has my personal number on the back so we can set something up,” she handed it over with envelope.

“Thank you, I’m sorry to run out on you,” Kara was scrambling, she didn’t want to seem rude or leave, but  _ Alex _ , so she was already halfway out the door, “It was great seeing you!”

She could hear Lena say  _ you too  _ from behind the door, far too soft for human ears.

But she didn’t dwell on the thought because  _ Alex _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had this half this chapter prepared, then a comment in the previous chapter had a good point, and I felt the need to rewrite a bit, until I remembered, there is a reason that Kara needs to be Supergirl for the photos beyond the fact that she's and artiste. I think the next chapter will move things a long faster now that they finally had established themselves in each other's lives.
> 
> On a slightly different note, I'm not sure what to do with Mon-EL, or the president. Re watching the episodes with Kara and president is hilarious because Kara has the biggest crush on her, she's in love. I'm upset no one has written a seriously written crack fic about Supergirl obsessing over the president while Lena obsesses over Supergirl trying to get her attention (building her the statue...) and just gradually gets more frustrated as Supergirl fangirls to Lena about the president. Bonus points if Lena consistently complains to Kara about it and Kara knows exactly what she's doing. Free prompt, please multiple people give this a go. Make it set late season 2 early season 3 away from all the negativity. I'm begging here.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If Kara told her that she wanted to sell her pigeons she would’ve said of course, and bought pigeons. She would've even bought a photo of a rat if that's what Kara wanted to show her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know. I know. I'm sorry.

Sadly, it took them a couple of weeks to meet up again. It was frustrating, she was eager to pick out more photos.

Not that she couldn’t just check the site, but Kara did say the colors might be all wrong, and that’s important. Lena may not know much about photography, but her research in the recent weeks definitely told her that colors were high on the list.

She may have also, just a teensy bit, wanted to see Kara again.

The bright side about not meeting for a few weeks meant she got to know Kara through texting. Because as it turns out Kara was a prolific texter.

Maybe the screen provided enough distance that it was harder to be shy, maybe typing was easier than talking for her. Whatever it was Lena was happy to divulge random facts, and answer random questions about herself, and rate animals, if it meant she got to keep Kara on the line.

Not that she wasn’t happy to finally be sitting here with Kara, nursing a coffee on a barstool as Kara fixed the set up for the monitor.

Lena would have been happy to sit on Kara’s couch, or anywhere really in Kara’s apartment. But Kara insisted that they look on her island so they won’t be crouched over on her coffee table.

So now she was just sipping her coffee waiting for Kara to open the correct files. She couldn’t help but smile at the crinkle between Kara’s brows and the way her tongue stuck out a bit.

Lena nearly fell off her stool when Kara popped up and announced “Ready to look at some photos?”

“Of course,” Lena let her voice take a low tone and slid a little closer to Kara, “Show me what you got.”

Kara tensed up and fiddled with her glasses but didn’t move away, “Well, what do you want to see?” Kara started moving through the files, “I have Birds, Wildlife, Landscapes, Portraits, People, and we can also filter by time, location, color scheme…”

“How about you show me some of your favourites,” Lena suggested upon seeing a file named Favorite. 

Kara slightly reddened at that, “Oh um, those aren’t quite ready yet, but I love the birds the most, and this might seem silly,” she paused as she scrolled, “But I really love the pigeons.”

If Kara told her that she wanted to sell her pigeons she would’ve said of course, and bought pigeons. She would've even bought a photo of a rat if that's what Kara wanted to show her.

She was sure it would be the best photo of a rat she ever saw.

Except she noticed a file named Supergirl.

“Can we look at some of the Supergirl photos?” Lena blurted out.

She recovered and explained, “I noticed that she wasn’t on your site, but she was in the latest issue of CatCo…”

Lena winced wishing she wore brighter colors to blend into the background of Kara’s apartment.

The newest issue had an entire spread dedicated to Supergirl.

The photos managed to portray Supergirl simultaneously more human than anyone thought, and simultaneously more godlike and untouchable than previously thought.

Her favorite was of Supergirl floating in the air, head back, hair flowing, laughing at something out of frame.

God was it beautiful. 

God was she beautiful. 

So maybe after Supergirl saved her, she had reversed her policy of ignoring the Supers and took an interest in Supergirl.

Paused her day to stare at the TV with Jess as she saved the day. And even considered making a call on behalf of Jess to get Supergirl to publish a video of her workout.

Not that anyone would benefit from a Kryptonian workout.

So sue her, she thought Supergirl was hot.

She was most definitely not the only person who thought so and had plenty of lawyers to spare.

Just when she saw the Supergirl images on CatCo’s magazine she was a little shocked to see Kara’s name on the pictures.

The surprise with Kara and Supergirl came less from Kara taking the photos. Supergirl may be a CatCo brand, and maybe she was expecting James to take the photos as he had done when she just appeared and for Superman, but Kara was as good, if not a better choice.

No she was shocked by the discovery that they were friends, close friends Lena suspected.

Although she should’ve known, would’ve known, if she paid attention to Supergirl and Kara earlier. Supergirl was involved in busts associated with Kara’s photojournalistic career. Superman too, to a lesser extent. While Kara did not get photos of Supergirl in action during the busts, it was her photos that lead to Supergirl and the proper authorities to take action.

She was also a little taken aback because a week before the issue was released she had spoken to Kara, who was frustrated and asked her if she had any advice about modelling naturally for photos.

Maybe she would’ve said something different if she had known it was Supergirl who was the uncooperative model.

Or not, the photos were stunning.

“Well, I mean they are fairly new, I made them for CatCo so I can’t exactly sell you any,” Kara finally said but brightened, “But there is no harm in looking I guess, if you still want too.”

“Yes please,” Lena mumbled.

She wondered if it was okay to be a little Lutheresque and try to bribe Kara for that photo of Supergirl.

“We’ll skip over the ones in the magazine,” Kara opened the folder, “Since you saw those.”

Lena was about to protest when she saw the photo Kara brought up.

Unexpectedly, it was cute.

Supergirl with her fist on her chin, legs crossed into a pretzel in the air inspecting the city. 

“Ooh this one is my favorite,”

It was Supergirl jokingly flexing into the camera with a smirk on her face and Lena’s throat went dry.

Because joke or no joke, Supergirl’s biceps popped.

“This one is fun too,” Kara continued on without noticing that Lena was choking on air.

Supergirl was holding up a bench filled with laughing people in one hand and a bench filled with dogs scrambling over each other in the next.

Lena even in the state of only processing how good Supergirl looked, managed to realize, “Puppies, that was definitely your idea Kara, why didn’t these get printed, did Supergirl not approve?”

Because if she didn’t Lena would personally smack her for insulting Kara in such a way.

That was a lie, but these were drool worthy, amazing photos.

“Oh no, Supergirl is relaxed about these things?” Kara's tone took an odd questing lilt, “Snapper chose the three.”

“Well, it’s a shame you can’t sell these ones, they are amazing and I definitely would have taken one,” or all.

She would _make_ space to put them in her apartment.

Put up a new wall even.

Buy a bigger apartment.

“I’m sorry, I could,” Suddenly Kara paused and looked up at her door.

Lena turned to see what was going on and saw a woman with short brown hair enter. 

“Hey Kara, I bought some more eggs since you’re low and a few salads,” The woman seemed unaware that Lena was here as she started taking off her shoes, “I know that you don’t…”

The rest of the sentence was lost as she looked up and saw Lena.

Lena had straightened her back and was already standing, while Kara seemed frozen.

“Hi I’m Lena Luthor, who are you?” she gave a tight smile, suddenly feeling upset and tense.

She didn’t know Kara well enough, but she would think that Kara might mention a girlfriend that was living with her before she came over.

Her girlfriend looked familiar. 

The woman seemed a little taken aback and watched Kara as she reached her hand out, “Alex,” she said slowly.

Oh the woman she saved.

“I remember you, from the my event,” Lena narrowed her eyes, “Small world?”

Or not if she came to keep an eye on Kara, or go on a date afterward.

Kara seemed to finally wake up, “Alex this is my friend Lena, she’s picking out photos that she wants,” she shot Alex a look and then turned to Lena gesturing at Alex, “Lena this is my sister Alex.”

Oh

“Pleasure,” Lena said much more happy and relaxed.

But Alex didn’t relax her eyes were narrowed at Kara, “Ok, doesn’t Tony or Jack or whatever his name is take care of clients?”

But as Kara went to answer Alex held her hand up, “You know what, I don’t care, since you’re apparently Kara’s friend, are you staying for movie night? We certainly have enough ice cream,” she said holding up a bag.

Lena hesitated, Kara introduced her as a friend, and although Alex is almost offering, the set of her tone and closed body language clearly said that wasn’t her preference.

But then, “Oh that would be great!”

Kara clapped her hands together, “You can choose the movie,” she offered as though that might convince Lena.

“Yeah, if you’re sure I’m not imposing,” she decided, “I don’t want to get in between the two of you if it’s your night,” she added giving both of them an out.

Also she wasn't sure how much she wanted to stay. While she had gotten close to Kara in the past few weeks, Kara had been clearly uncomfortable with her up until now.

That and she wasn't sure when the last ime she actually hung out with anyone, let alone stayed for a relaxed movie night.

Kara was looking at Alex and Alex sighed, “Don’t worry, sister night is Thursday, although I recommend you claim your ice cream now. Just finish up with the photos, I’ll be setting up.”

Well, she guessed, this was what she wanted, to be closer to Kara. Movie night it was.

\---------

Once Lena had chosen her photo, a dramatic shot of a kingfisher grabbing a colorful fish in it’s beak, it was an underwater shot taken perfectly clearly, only given away by the bubbles coming from the kingfisher, Lena was sent into the bathroom to change.

Kara convinced her she can always come back to a second photo later and pushed a pair of sweatpants into her arms.

She had also apparently changed in the time it took Lena strip to her undershirt and put on the pants.

She was wearing puppy pajama pants, and a baggy long sleeve shirt, her head thrown back in laughter.

But what really threw Lena off was a scar going down her neck, she hadn’t noticed it before. Her breathe caught and she stood frozen, about to ask when she noticed Alex shaking her head at a rapid pace with a spooked expression on her face.

Ok don’t ask.

But what happened?

It wasn’t a surgery scar, no surgeries that she knew of ended with that sort of scar.

She forced a smile on her face and sat down next to Kara. Careful not to touch her as she remembered how Kara reacted previously when Lena had gotten too close.

Kara furrowed her brow, “You ok?”

She gave Kara a confused look, “Yeah why wouldn’t I be?”

Kara shrugged and Lena’s eyes dropped to the scar again, but she quickly raised them so Kara didn’t notice her staring.

“So what movie are we watching?”

Alex and Kara started to argue and she did her best to relax.

How did she end up here?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alex is still worried about Lena, but she also really wants Kara to have friends.
> 
> Also I cannot remember where I was going with this story. I remember thinking of a great plot twist that I accidentally set up and having a somewhat vague idea of a plan, but cannot remember for the life of me where this was going. My updating is going to be more infrequent, I'm busy with my job, a sport, and trying to build a company. So I don't know when I'll get back to this story. Especially since there were a few other supercorp fics I had planned that I had actually outlined. I want to finish this, but I don't know when I will.


	11. Hard truths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Actual plot in this chapter, real plot!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm leaving the cannon way of things now, and not just because I'm too lazy to go back and rewatch all those scenes, it's time for the differences of the story to come out. Also how do you use hyphens? I really should know this but I've avoided them most my life.

Once Lena had noticed the scar on Kara’s neck, she had started noticing other oddities about Kara.

The way she always wore long sleeves and sweaters no matter the weather. How uncomfortable she got in small spaces. Her aversion to being touched by strangers, but was a very tactile person when it came to people she was close too.

Lena smiled, she was someone Kara was close too.

Lena had a friend, a wonderful, beautiful, awesome friend who brought a smile to anyone she interacted with.

So what she herself had an aversion to being touched.

Kara’s hugs and cuddles was something that in a few weeks she had grown to love and cherish. 

Lena may be stiff for a second, but then she always relaxed into it. It was nice an warm in Kara's arms that made her feel as though someone genuinely cared, that made her both like a child and like a superhero. Like she was protected, but also gave her the strength to take on the world.

It was just Kara's hugs and touches that made her feel that way, not old friends from boarding school would lightly hug her to pretend they were closer then they were, not when old men would clasp her shoulders in congratulations, she hated those feelings.

But Kara's hugs...

So it took her a second to soak in the feeling and let go of the stiffness, she was getting better.

The same way if you casually touch Kara on the shoulder, she would jump, but relax when she saw it was someone she was close too.

Their new closeness though was something that revealed Kara’s alieness. 

Her confusion with common words phrases and pop culture references as though a common saying was knew to her. Her fascination with animals and animal documentaries, like it was the first time she was hearing about seals. The way she constantly ran hot, feverish, which scared Lena after she playfully red her temperature with the hand held laser thermometer.

Even the way she talked about people and customs, things like dating, small niceties and polite gestures, seemed confusing to her.

It was not to say that Lena found her rude or odd or unlikable in any way, just that she was sure Kara wasn’t human.

Especially after she witnessed Kara picking up a fifty pound with a single hand like she was holding up foam.

But it didn’t click, the worst part was that it didn’t click with Lena until she saw the scars on Kara’s arm when she rolled up her sleeve to pull her phone she dropped into the fountain.

It didn’t even click immediately then.

There was an itch at the back of her mind after she went back to the office.

She couldn’t stop thinking about Kara’s arm and the scar she had on her neck trying to understand trying to put it together what had happened.

Kara was obviously a victim of trauma.

The she poured herself some wonderful scotch and decided that she shouldn’t ask Kara but let Kara bring it up herself and opened her tablet to study her Cadmus files.

Ever since the attack on the Gala her worries about Cadmus were increasing.

It was nice to see Kara in a suit and tie.

(Actually it was wonderful, Kara was pretty, beautiful even, but that night Kara was _hot_.)

Kara was distracted and kept darting around, and Lena was worried that this would be an uncomfortable situation for her, but Kara had held herself with an odd confidence the entire night that she wasn't used to seeing on her.

It seemed familiar somehow but they didn't really talk or see each other much and so much happened Lena didn't get to explore the thought.

It was also great to see Supergirl, to talk to her afterward and hear that Supergirl trusted her.

(It was better than great, Supergirl was turning out to be better than Lena had imagined, and boy did Lena imagine.)

So even though Cadmus had attacked she had a great night. But the anxiety, the paranoia about Cadmus stayed.

Especially those files she didn’t know what to do with.

So she liked to come back to her office at night so she could go through them, to find hints on what Cadmus was up to know, their game plan, their location, anything.

(She didn’t want those files anywhere near her house or home, they were filled with terrible things, horrifying things, things she wanted as far away from herself as possible.)

Normally she avoided reading through the torture, the dissection they did on a live alien.

But tonight she had been inspecting it, looking for clues when something clicked.

The drawing of the dissection had familiar features.

The description of the humanoid alien.

The features, the body temperature.

The scar on Kara’s neck.

The scars on Kara’s arms.

It didn’t mean anything. Kara could have gotten those scars in any number of ways.

It didn’t mean-

“Ms. Luthor, are you ok?”

She shot up from her chair so fast it toppled over.

Supergirl was standing there in all her glory with an arm reached out and a furrow in her brow.

“I’m fine, you just startled me,” she said with her had on her racing her heart, “You know that really isn’t an entrance.

Supergirl looked unconvinced but dropped her arm and took a step back

She picked her chair off the ground glad about the pleasant distraction Supergirl provided, “I wanted to thank you again for saving me, because of you countless of people are safe, including me and my employees.”

“Well now I need your help,” Supergirl had crossed her arms.

“Anything,” Lena was happy to help Supergirl, to help a hero.

“I need help finding your mother.”

That took Lena aback, “My mother?”

“Your mother is,” Supergirl paused looking uncomfortable, “Your mother is behind Cadmus,” Supergirl walked further into her office and was no longer facing Lena, “She’s their leader.”

No.

No. No. No.

“You’re lying,” Lena wanted to say it louder, yell it, hiss it, but it came out as an unsure statement.

Lillian wasn’t good, but Lillian wasn’t capable of doing that- torturing aliens for the sick pleasure of it, torturing...

“Lena.”

She couldn’t believe Supergirl would even suggest such a thing.

Did Supergirl even understand what she was accusing.

No, just did it because she was a Luthor.

An easy target.

Lex may have been involved in such monstrosities, but Lex was a black sheep, even he was incarcerated for most of the worst of Cadmus.

She felt sick at the idea.

They tortured a child. 

Even Lex wouldn't do that.

She didn't know anyone that evil. 

_She couldn't know anyone that evil._

“You know I thought you were different, you wear that symbol on your chest and everyone thinks you’re good,” Lena gave a small laugh, “How many times did your cousin put on that high and mighty costume and come after Lex,” she kept her voice even, cold, “My Mother is no saint, but you coming here and accusing her of being the devil incarnate,” she felt tears build at the edge of her eyes, “How long until you come after me?”

Supergirl didn’t turn to face her, but unclipped her cape, “I know this,” she said voice even bordering on growl as though she didn’t listen to a word Lena had just said, “I know this because-“

She turned around pulling sleeves rolled up pulling down her collar, “ _Because she tortured ME_.”

No. No. No No No No No NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

Those scars, those scars-

Supergirl bent over to pick up her cape and swept out of the room.

Lena was going to be sick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I rewrote this chapter four times, then kept getting stuck, than rereading my story, then realizing I had a plot somewhere, and it was time to move that plot forward. This was one of the first scenes I had been thinking of when I started and dammit, I did not do it justice. 
> 
> But I've also procrastinated long enough and it was way past time for me to release a chapter. I thought about abandoning this, but to see people willing to patiently wait, and love this story is getting convinced me I gotta keep working on it. You're comments always brighten my day, even if I don't get to reply, know that I love all your comments and they keep me going. I'm sorry this chapter was a bit short, but I think I know how I'm going to move the story along now. Also sorry for not writing the Gala scene, I should've done that in the previous chapter instead of that worthless fluff, but it's time for the story to move.


	12. We see what we want to see, until we don't

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena confronts her mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy, I'm sorry this took so long.

Lena woke up slowly, nuzzling her head into her soft pillow, stretching her back, realizing that she had no Idea how she got into her own bed. Fully clothed, clutching her phone with a roaring headache and itchy eyes. Maybe she had too much to drink?

Adding the information that it was hard to focus and her mouth felt as though it was filled with cotton, she was pretty sure alcohol was involved.

Not fully awake she rolled over to send her housekeeper a text about changing her sheets ( so she liked to sleep in a clean bed that didn’t have germs from dirty clothes, sue her) and saw a reminder about a meeting with Lillian.

It felt like her breath was knocked out of her lungs, again- Supergirl and Kara. 

Supergirl was Kara. 

Kara was Supergirl.

Cadmus tortured Supergirl.

Cadmus Tortured Kara.

She rolled out of bed, head spinning, and tripped over a spilled bottle of scotch on her floor.

Groaning she pushed herself off the floor and rubbed her shoulder, carefully checking under her feet as she made her way to the bathroom.

There had to be a mistake. Kara wasn’t the lying type, but had obviously undergone some serious trauma and torture. Maybe it was someone else at Cadmus that took the sick pleasure of torturing aliens, joining Lex because of his anti-alien agenda, overlooked by Lillian who had to take control and probably was too busy with the repercussions of Lex’s arrest to take notice of all the projects that cropped up in the chaos.

Maybe Lillian wasn’t involved beyond running the organization, some sick monster using her name to goad Kara, and Kara believing it since Lillian was the woman in charge.

Maybe it had been something else entirely playing the long game, setting the Luthors up.

Maybe the pain and torture had gotten to Kara, and this unkown torturer needed a name and a face, it was just the first possible one Kara was able to project unto them.

She stepped out of her dress, lost in possible excuses, and continued to be lost as she stepped into the hot water of her tub. It was still filling but Lena couldn’t care less.

There was no point to the maybes. Today she had a meeting with Lillian. 

Set up perfectly for some time after lunch. 

There was time to pull herself together and calm down.

Then Lena would have an opportunity to ask the woman herself. Lillian would have a reasonable explanation, she was sure of it.

\--------

It was already six in the morning. 

Kara had been up literally the entire night, and while technically she needed less sleep, she had physically and emotionally exhausted herself to the point she could sleep for a few days.

She wasn’t quite sure where she went, just that she flew something like 3000 miles east and ended in an empty field where she could deal with the thoughts of Lillian, the thought of the way she had been trapped, hurt, and tortured.

Her voice was still a little hoarse from the screaming.

Although, she had laid down afterwards for a while and watched the clouds go by.

That had to count as rest.

Probably.

It was just, well, once she got back to National City, Lena wasn’t in her office anymore and while she can drop in as Supergirl to Lena’s office, dropping in at her apartment was probably some sort of invasion of privacy.

Maybe even just home invasion? It’s not breaking and entering if she doesn’t break anything to enter.

Is it home invasion if she just stands on the balcony? 

Anyway Kara was pretty sure that regardless Lena would take presence at her apartment fairly badly after the conversation they had.

After Kara had run off again. She was two for two on running away from difficult conversations from Lena. Although she did technically say everything that needs to be said both times…

Just this time it was less of a conversation and more throwing info at Lena, and Kara feels bad and it’s giving her anxiety that she left things this way and she really really just wants to clear things up. But she doesn’t think there was a better scenario for this conversation.

Lillian was a touchy subject for her.

So in order to work off some frustration she stopped two muggings, then went to the DEO to properly work off the frustration in the green room, and now she was here.

She felt better, she really did, the flying, the screaming, the breaking worked off all her adrenaline.

She even spoke with the DEO shrink over the phone and honestly, while she didn’t like thinking about it she had come to terms with what was done to her.

What happened, happened. You can only move forward.

So why does she feel so uncomfortable in her own home? So why does she feel nervous to be at her own apartment? Everything was the same, from the photos littering the floor to her kinda made bed.

Why does everything feel so wrong?

She slammed her fists on her bed in anger. Then felt that energy. That Anger. And slammed them down again. Pushed her fingers through the mattress. Tore the fabric. Threw her hands up. Brought them down again. Waved her hands to the side.

And just let herself pull things back and forth, grabbing randomly, pulling things randomly. Breathing harder.

Until she realized there was nothing left of her bed. Just fuzz and small pieces of her mattress lying around the room with splintered wood.

And also that she was crying. Why was she crying? 

She brought her hands to her face to wipe the tears away but for some reason she just covered her eyes.

She had no strength left, nothing left, and fell.

Kara curled up into a ball on the floor. Let out a sob, and started wailing for real.

\------------

Lena had reached a zen state. Or as close to zen as she can probably get. 

Worrying never got anything done. It was all about focusing on the now and what she can do. As of right now that was waiting for Lillian’s appointment.

The powers of a nice bath, some self love, and a good nap are desperately underrated and under utilized. 

Also a great assistant.

Jess the wonderful woman Jess, Lena was ready to get whatever she wanted, a new car, a mansion, a private jet, an island, whatever Jess wished Lena was ready to play genie.

She had settled everything with PR, had Lena’s office cleaned, moved around meetings, forged Lena’s signature-

Although the last part was concerning, but honestly Jess was one of the few people Lena trusted.

Also while she was pretty sure she and Jess were friends, like all her employees, Jess had a healthy fear of her boss.

She even managed to get some of Lillian's favourite tea. The one that was practically impossible to find and needlessly pretentious that Lena didn’t bother storing.

Honestly in a year she’s going to promote Jess to the COO. No one knows the operations of L-Corp better than her.

Especially since she heard her Mother scream at Jess from the hall before barging in.

At least Lillian had an appointment this time.

“I’m so glad you called me here to talk Lena,” Lillian took a sip of her tea, “I had something I wanted you to discuss with you as well.”

Lena gave a tight smile, “Good timing then, I actually had a question regarding Cadmus.”

“Finally taking an interest in the rest of the family business I see? To be honest I was getting scared that you supported this infestation, especially Supergirl.”

Even though she had supported Lillian to Kara, Lena was well aware of Lillian's flaws.

Being a racist, xenophobic, bigot, also her endless support of Lex regardless of his actions, oh and the fact that no matter what Lena did, she just wasn’t good enough.

So yes, Lillian was a bad person, and to get more information Lena would have to carefully toe the line of neutrality about Cadmus, not showing any support for the anti-alien agenda, but also not showing support against it.

“Well I had found some old documents from Cadmus in the Luthor Corp servers, about some,” what was the most neutral way to put it, “experiments done on aliens. I was wondering if you knew anything about those experiments, I had some questions for the tech I was creating.”

She went to pull them up on her tablet, so Lillian knew what she was talking about and prove that she didn’t know about it, or at least didn’t endorse it, but Lillian didn’t even bother looking at it.

Lillian smiled into her cup, “You mean you found the experiments we had done on Supergirl?”

No.

Lena froze and staring at her mother, she wouldn’t.

“She was such a great subject, we learned so much about the Kryptonians, she had quite a mouth on her, or really quite the set of lungs, I took a look at them myself after I cut them open,” Lena stared in horror, was her mother boasting, “it was all the better when we got her to scream.”

Lena opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out, she literally had no words. 

All she could think about were the scars on Kara’s arms, the scar going down her neck, the amount of cutting, torturing it would take to scar a Kryptonian.

It didn’t bother Lillian who picked up her phone and sent a message as though she didn’t confess to gruesome torture.

This news was so worrying that it made Lena dizzy.

“Oh please, relax, that thing isn’t human,” Lilian scoffed, but Lena wasn’t really paying attention anymore, she gripped her seat because the world was starting to spin, “I knew you would react this way, but don’t worry, I have hope we can eliminate that media brainwashing,” she scoffed, “Aliens are refugees, aliens need rights too, so they can crush the poor humans under foot.”

It was no longer possible for Lena to sit up straight, she closed her eyes to get her bearings but realized she couldn’t open them again.

In fact she couldn’t really focus on anything anymore although as she faded out of consciousness she faded out, “You are a Luthor after all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You would think I had more time to write being shut in at home, but having my entire family with me proves distracting. I'm sorry I haven't answered any of the comments on the last chapter. Seeing them in my email and reading the comments is what makes my day, sometimes I even read them to my family. Things have gotten a little crazy in the world and I might be fired soon, but whatever, just gotta keep moving. 
> 
> I hope everyone is healthy and ok, wash your hands, avoid touching your face, practice social distancing. I know people want to go hang out with their friends, or go see their family, but please stay at home, or take a walk in the park at a 5 ft distance from others. Hangout with your household. Don't call the police if you run out of toilet paper, they can't help, crumple a newspaper or ordinary paper repeatedly and it gets soft. If you have the virus take tylenol, not advil, and listen to your doctor.


End file.
